BY MATTHEW CORRIGAN

It’s Christmastime

And Geldof’s here to rant and rave

At Christmastime

He tells us all how we should behave

And from their world of plenty

They invade our privacy

The celebrity bandwagon’s here again

 

Let’s say a prayer

Prayer that it’s the last one

Last Christmastime

That they come to spoil the fun

 

There’s a man on television

He’s a sanctimonious prick

It’s Chris Martin and he’s preaching

And he makes me bloody sick

With his Christmas bellend buddies

X-Factor winners too

 

Well tonight thank God McCartney had the flu

 

And there won’t be want in Bono’s house this Christmastime

He don’t know about financial strife

No-oo

He’s got plenty to eat

And he buys his hat a seat

Don’t they know we’re sick of them at all?

 

[BREAK]

 

Make a mint and avoid the tax on it

Convince idiots that you give a shit

Don’t they know we’re sick of them at all?

 

[BELLS AND THINGS]

 

Raise the profile

Raise the profile

 

Raise the profile

Album’s out at Christmastime again

[REPEAT TO FADE]

 

Matthew Corrigan is a Country Squire Guest Writer and a superb author whose excellent novel OSPREY shines a satirical light on a dodgy politician with a flying wind turbine scam. His books can be found here