BY JAMIE FOSTER

I do not recommend fevers. They tend to blind one to the beauty of health. I furthermore do not recommend believing that anything will cause a fever to pass before the appointed hour. There are certainly substances known to man that may delay the inevitable but those who believe with certainty that it is a matter of human preference are, in my humble opinion, mentally unstable.

The temperature around Brexit is certainly hotting up. I understand James O’Brien, the self appointed oracle of certainty in the world, has declared that Zac Goldsmith’s current unemployment was due in part to Brexit and in part to the unpleasant way he described London Mayoral candidate Sadiq Khan. It was suggested on his show today by a number of Richmond residents that Zac’s decision to vote for Brexit and his clear Islamaphobia was to blame for his defeat by the Lib Dem candidate.

I find this as difficult to believe as any of Mr O’Brien’s other pronouncements.

Firstly because I am not sure how the good burghers of Richmond feel about a third runway at Heathrow. This was, after all, the reason Zac gave for resigning in the first place.

Secondly Zac’s open calls for both Brexit and the recall by constituents of MPs meant that if the Tory voters, or indeed the voters at large in Richmond, really didn’t want him to stay, then they had either to vote against him in the last election or politely ask him to leave. The idea that the son of Sir Jimmy Goldsmith was a secret Remainer stretches credibility to breaking point. The idea that any brother in law of the great Imran Khan at any point in history, is an Islamaphobe is risible.

Thirdly, and perhaps most convincingly, I believe that the Remain voters in Richmond felt that democracy had sold them short. They were, after all, on Henry’s hunting grounds. The huge worth of their opinions had been rejected by the plebs. Andrew Mitchell had gone through hell and back for muttering pleb under his breath so the voters of Richmond probably felt that liberalism had also sold them short. It was time for a representative who despised the unwashed voters who refused to listen when the whistles sounded and their masters whipped them into the booths. It was time for an MP who was neither a liberal nor a democrat.

There was only one realistic choice.

A Liberal Democrat.

I have no idea how the young lady will get on but she must have some bottle. She has already announced she will respect the will of her constituents over the will of the electorate. A series of Remain MPs in constituencies comprised of the still discordant Brexiteers must be scratching their head in wonder.

Not me. I am ill. I don’t recommend it.