BY JOHN ISMAEL
Ask a political scientist to come up with a formula for a radical entity that can most annoy Leftists. Who or what would you imagine that they would create? A reincarnation of the Reverend Ian Paisley? Andrew Neil perhaps? Enoch Powell? The late Andrew Breitbart? What about Michael Portillo?
Imagine these political scientists with their imaginary cauldrons, concocting this anti-Leftist kryptonite. What are the characteristics of this entity? What does the Left despise most that would most extract their ugly jealousies?
Nine characteristics would surely go into the pot:
First, strength. This entity must be strong-willed and exude a natural, physical sense of superiority. That rules out the Theresa May types and hoodie-huggers like David Cameron.
Second, beauty. This person (surely the entity must be human to extract maximum covetousness) must be excruciatingly beautiful – so pulchritudinous it hurts.
Third, this person must be clever. Likely university-educated. Ideally multi-lingual and with the emotional intelligence to address all kinds of audiences from the young to the aged; from sports teams to the decrepit.
Fourth, this person must be Christian. Nothing like a traditional, pro-life Christian to put the cat amongst the leftist pigeons. Someone who can establish natural rapport with the Pope and bishops. Someone who can wear a crucifix with pride and bestow Christian values on their children and others. Someone who can make those leftists screaming for abortion as if it’s the best thing on earth think about the gravity of the issue and the status of human existence.
Fifth, someone white. The Leftists hate whites. God forbid if you are a white person in the West in 2017. These imperialist bastards are what is wrong with the world from all leftists’ points of view, which is why they hate the countries replete with whites. Awful bunch. To the leftists, the world population is far better off being mixed beige with huge influxes of spitting rapists from the hellholes of planet earth bringing their tuberculosis and rabid religious violence.
Sixth, straight. If you’re not gay or trans or engaged in progressive sexual acts with beasts, then you’re old hat and the Left will post an ANTIFA target on your butt. Nothing like a straight person – a proponent of the traditional eye-to-eye lotus position – to wind up the nose-pierced leftists.
Seventh, be an immigrant. But here’s the rub: be a LEGAL immigrant. It’s the illegal immigrants who inherit the love and acceptance of leftists. Those rotten legal ones are the monied ones who can afford to jump through the horrible state’s immigration hurdles; they must be connected insiders and so are not worthy of leftist respect.
Eighth, be classy. There is nothing like the conservative swan to annoy the leftist pigeons. The grace with which it glides through even rough water is a thing of beauty to behold. That blend of beauty and class makes leftists spit out their lentils and choke on their bile.
Finally, be a woman. Men do not best intermingle these eight characteristics so successfully as a woman. The worst of the leftist bully boys get trumped by women left right and centre. Their favourite turn-to accusations of “sexist” fall on deaf ears and make them seem like the real misogynists. Leftist (mostly ugly) women seem catty when they attack beautiful, intelligent women and their words are lost and forgotten; rebounded against the obvious reality of their natural disadvantages.
Melania.
Trump’s most underused asset.
She could be a world-beater.
She is EVERYTHING the Leftists despise. (No wonder she has a double. Make a triple, a quadruple. Damn it, make an army of Melanias and make the Left squirm.)