BY GARY MCGHEE
The message I must convey to you is of the utmost importance. I am particularly suited to doing so given my insights and superior knowledge on my subject. Moreover, I am very experienced, popular, have a large profile, many thousands of followers, heaps of charisma. People who seek guidance and reassurance are drawn to me, I am admired, loved. Some jealous people think I like the sound of my own voice and talk too much, but, well, what a voice! I have an advanced intellect, I am adept at conveying complex ideas in ways that ordinary folk can understand and I see it as my duty to help others to open their minds, to unlock their potential. It is a service I am more than willing to provide. I am their humble servant.
It would therefore be very much in your interest to subscribe to my pearls of wisdom for a monthly or yearly payment to me, to gain access to the most significant and fundamental messages that I will be imparting. That’s worth a modest sum of anybody’s money. I assure you that you won’t regret it.
There is a word the ignorant use for what I am and what I do. I use it myself to describe those who are only in it for the money, but it doesn’t apply to me because what I provide is special and valuable. I choose to earn my living only to serve, not exploit. To help make the world a better place. To bring hope where there is despair, to throw light onto dark places, bring clarity where there is confusion. This word applies only to those who are hypocrites and have nothing crucial to say and fool the gullible into thinking they are missing out.
Admittedly, there are a lot of charlatans these days. The porn stars who lecture people about sexual politics and homophobia and transphobia and espouse socialism are a prime example. Confucius, he say that those who sell their cocks, arses, tits and vaginas for a living shouldn’t patronise those who do proper jobs. After all, Pornos are interchangeable, like establishment shilling Journos, industry Pop stars, Hollyweird actors and Celebs. Their egos are huge, but their value is very limited.
Then there are those who jump on the latest hot bandwagon issue and milk it for all it’s worth. They are like a stuck record, constantly banging on in the same groove like dogs with a favourite bone. Ad infinitum. Ad nauseam. Trans this, trans that. Queer this, same sex that. Men are toxic this, masculinity that. Women are adult human this, social construct that. Labour/Tory, Tory/Labour. Gen Z this, Gen X that. Save the planet this, fossil fuels that. Blame the Boomers this, blame house prices that. Blame Brexit this, blame everything on Brexit that.
But not me. What I have to say is unique. Only I could say it. Only I am ideally placed. Only I refuse to polarise a debate to perpetuate a conflict in my own interest. I’m above all that.
By the way, I take all major credit cards and PayPal.
Gary McGhee is a semi-retired screenwriter, loving the outdoor life with his partner in the Norfolk countryside. Gary was ‘red-pilled’ before it became fashionable, and believes in liberty, freedom, modernism, and defying herd-mentalities.