BY ROGER WATSON
I cannot see many mothers being proud of this film. Mother’s Pride is a film which, given the cast, simply could not fail…yet it does. Heavily, and very misleadingly, trailered on television and promising so much, the film was a cross between cinematic fireworks – with too much going on – and a damp squib, with none of the fireworks exploding.
The theme was certainly one that should interest readers of Country Squire Magazine. A rural setting, a quaint village with two pubs and, against a backdrop of country pubs closing daily, a struggling village pub, The Drovers Arms. Opposite The Drovers Arms is a gastropub owned by village posh boy and owner of the local brewery. The gastropub is full while The Drovers Arms is empty.
The cast included Martin Clunes (needs no introduction), Miles Jupp (ditto), James Buckley (The Inbetweeners), Mark Addy (The Full Monty), Jonno Davies (who?) and Luke Treadaway (Mr Mercedes). See what I mean? It couldn’t possibly fail… Sadly, for those of us who went to the cinema, drawn in by the television clips which clearly exhausted all the funny bits, the laughs were few and very far between.
The storyline was formulaic and well-worn. Sometimes that works as we are all suckers for a hard-luck story with a happy ending. Unfortunately, in the case of Mother’s Pride, the storyline wears you out. The sheer number of hard-luck stories was overwhelming: the failing pub; the widowed landlord; the failed pop star; the love lost; and the single father.
The story was part Prodigal Son (the failed pop star returning to his village); part western (the pretty school teacher left behind in the village); part Fisherman’s Friends (the same production team that inflicted Mother’s Pride on us); with lashings of The Full Monty (one scene was shamelessly rehashed).
So, as Dylan Thomas said in Under Milk Wood, ‘To begin at the beginning’: failed pop star (Jonno Davies), the son of the landlord of The Drovers Arms, returns to his village but is not initially welcomed by his father (Martin Clunes), and his brother (James Buckley) is quite critical too. Said pop star had not been in contact for years, missed his mother’s funeral and had left the beautiful schoolteacher (Gabriella Wilde – ooh la la!) behind. In his absence, the schoolteacher is going out with local posh boy (Luke Treadaway).
The local posh boy’s brewery supplies The Drovers Arms with beer, but as The Drovers Arms has no customers, they cannot pay their bills, so the brewery stops supplying them and they run out of beer. Failed pop star finds a book on brewing beer in the cellar of The Drovers Arms where his grandfather used to brew beer and then it all turns a bit Harry Potter as he experiments with brews, following the old recipes. At one point in the brewing process his father gives him the wooden spoon his grandfather used to stir his brews, and which imparts special properties to the beer.
Then, honestly, not sure I can go on recounting the story. Suffice to say that almost every cliché imaginable is crammed into the plot. The tragic events that led to the pop star failing, the love he has always felt for the schoolteacher, reconciliation between father and son, an upturn in the fortunes of the pub, the dream is wrecked – literally – by a rival (posh boy), landlord has a cardiac arrest and ends up in ICU ‘fighting for his life’ and the villagers rally round to get them back on their feet. I could go on, but I imagine you’ve heard enough.
If you’re wondering where Miles Jupp fits into the story, it is very much into the sub-plot, if that is not to elevate this cinematic disaster to a level of literary complexity it does not merit. Miles Jupp and his wife (Josie Lawrence) are CAMRA aficionados who visit pubs purporting to sell real ale. They give The Drovers Arms a stinker of a review while the gastropub basks in five-star reviews. There is a local CAMRA beer tasting competition which selects beer to go forward to the national championship, so it is ‘game on’ between The Drovers Arms and the gastropub.
Both pubs make it to the nationals in London but the brothers from The Drovers Arms decide to travel there and arrive like real drovers, by horse and cart, taking the beer for the competition with them. What could possibly go wrong? The judging is underway and the drovers have not arrived; they are lost in London. The tension is incredible (only joking), but they make it to the competition and guess what happens? I think you probably can.
The fictional music of the failed pop star features at various points during the film as if to explain his failure. The songs are truly awful. At the time of writing, Rotten Tomatoes has not passed judgement, but The Guardian and The Times have and if you think I am being harsh, then just read their reviews.
Roger Watson is Editor-in-Chief of Nurse Education in Practice.