BY ANNA BOWEN
1 You had no idea that the faithful Aga was the pinnacle of middle class aspiration.
2 The Aga was frequently home to both a casserole and a lamb.
3 Christmas morning was an excruciating wait for farm work to be over before you could open presents.
4 It was totally normal to have a flask of frozen semen.
5 Equally you learnt about copulation (at least in an animal sense) at a very early age.
6 Your best friend was probably a dog.
7 There’s an old adage that goes “where there’s livestock there’s deadstock” and it is true- dead, dying and stillborn animals were a fact of life.
8 You had an allegiance to a particular brand of tractor.
9 You know the difference between asset and cash wealth.
10 You like cheques.
11 Seeing and feeling the innards of an animal does not make you squeamish.
12 At some point you wanted to be a vet.
13 You joined the YFC. It was an expectation and not necessarily a choice.
14 Even if you have a 9-5 job you feel lazy and guilty if you are unoccupied on the weekend.
15 James Herriott made you want an upland farm in Yorkshire.
16 The children at school were envious of your outdoor space.
17 Depending on the type of farm they may also have been insanely jealous of your house.
18 The school holidays were not a relaxing break but a reason for your parents to rope you into driving tractors/ sheeting silage clamps.
19 You have eaten food with filthy hands.
20 And drank unpasteurised milk.
21 And eaten something you shot yourself.
22 You drove a tractor before you drove a car
23 The Countryfile weather forecast demanded total silence but the family were split as to whether Adam was a good ambassador for agriculture or not.
24 You had an older cousin who went to Ciren/ Harper. You hero-worshipped them and went for a disastrously drunken visit.
25 If you had a horse it always looked well because of your superior grass and pasture management.
Anna Bowen is an agricultural graduate currently living and working in Warwickshire, but originally from the wild West of Wales. Her writing as Aunt Annie can be found here