Tory Britain, the Postmodern Version


Tory Britain, you have to love it. It’s kind of a feckless experiment, like grenades-and-rape Sweden, or Justin Trudeau’s identity-free-post-national Canada. Or is it more like France, where they’re fashionably laissez-faire about external borders, but are constructing bulletproof walls around the Eiffel Tower? Or Germany, where mass sex attacks in the street are covered up, but a journalist gets a suspended sentence for publishing a historical photograph.

Conservatives conserve, or so you might think, but not in the case of Theresa May’s party, which has decided to change everything instead. And not in a popular way. Or a logical way. Or in anything other than a change for change’s sake way. Or a change to appease the left and its frothing SJWs. A capitulatory, cowardly, what-the-holy-f**k-are-they-doing-now kind of change.

Perhaps this is down to the reduced influence of Ukip since Britain chose to leave the EU, and Nigel Farage stepped down as the party’s leader. Whatever your views on the Kipper contingent, there’s no doubt that their presence on the right kept the Conservatives on their toes, whipping them into something resembling a right-wing party. Ukip were a reminder that it wasn’t just the EU that was unpopular, it was also the soft liberal consensus and the erosion of libertarian values, in favour of Blairish nudges and social justice suffocation. And Ukip came up with policies, which could then be nicked by the Tories.

But with the popular, populist right-wing Kippers a mere shadow of their former selves, barely even worthy of harassment from leftist goons Hope Not Hate, the Conservatives have buckled and drifted, and are now cornering the market in not-quite-right-wing unpopulism.

So we have the distinct likelihood that Equalities Minister Justine Greening’s proposed changes to the Gender Recognition Act will go through. That means that we can all choose our own gender, change our birth certificates, and not even have to bother consulting a doctor to confirm that we actually have gender dysphoria. In fact, you don’t even need to have a gender at all. You can designate yourself a letter X instead. This, of course, is impossible. I mean, it’s literally not possible (with the rare exception of those born intersex) to be neither male or female. It’s not possible to switch overnight from one to the other, and then have that magical alteration ripple back in time causing the document that was filled in when you were born to become retrospectively inaccurate. But hey, who cares? It’s what the kids on Tumblr are going nuts for, and the Tories now take cues from the mentally unstable SJWs who otherkin the desks at Teen Vogue.

And yes, if being addressed by the ‘wrong’ pronoun is enough to send someone into a fit of vengeful despair, then evidently they’re mentally unstable, slightly undermining the argument that being confused about gender isn’t a psychological condition.

At a secondary school in Oxfordshire though, maths teacher Joshua Sutcliffe is reportedly accused of the heinous crime of ‘misgendering’, having been suspended for addressing a girl who identifies as a boy as a girl, in addition to calling her by her name, rather than by her preferred male pronouns. So that’s it then. This is the future the Tories have selected—you are compelled to change your language according to the subjective whims of your interlocutor, with no regard for staying true to the reality in front of you. Get it wrong (meaning right), and you can start clearing your desk.

Why would anyone want to go into teaching in this climate? Why put up with the stress and the bullshit of being pushed around by teenagers who need a framework of guidance and authority, but are instead told that everything they think and feel during the maelstrom of adolescence is unquestionably true, and that the whole world—schools, teachers and all—must melt and distort to adhere to their every fancy.

Who’s in charge here? Oh yes, the Conservative Party (Postmodern Upgrade).

At least we can trust the Tories on matters of public safety and national security though, right? They’ll know how to deal with the savage, psychopathic scum who left Britain to fight for ISIS—a world incorporating torture, rape, and genocide, in which they could inflict unthinkable horrors on men, women, and children, all in the name of a barbaric theocracy. The Tories won’t show them any quarter, that’s for cert… oh no, wait.

The government is considering giving them council houses.

They’re not talking about killing the jihadis, or locking them up forever, or even just showing them around the inside of a courthouse, they’re discussing reintegrating them. But here’s a thought that occurs: if someone thinks leaving Britain, travelling to a war zone, and joining a military death cult seems like a good idea, they probably weren’t very integrated to start with. And even if they once were… they’re ISIS fighters now.

Reminder: the Tories, 2017 version, are in charge. Tough on biological determinism. Obligingly relaxed about genocide-complicit enemy combatants and their tendency to massacre infidels.

But you know, it’s not all bad. Shifty theocratic nuthouse Iran might hang gays, but it has the world’s second highest rate of sex change operations, the idea being that while homosexuality is haram, transitioning gets the doctrinal thumbs up. All going well, united in oppression and an acceptance of gender exploration, our pronoun-sensitive trans hardliners and the wayward Islamist butchers might just get along like a house on fire in Qaraqosh.