Cough Up, Pipsqueak


Imagine a career politician with little to zero experience of the real world outside of the Labour Party. Imagine that career politician having the gall to represent the weak against the strong. Imagine a constituency full of ethnic minorities and struggling families having this third-class career politician foisted upon them as their MP. Now imagine how they feel when that MP deludes himself into thinking that he’s a bit of a Machiavelli and tries to oust the Labour Prime Minister, with the plot exploding in his face – being described as “disloyal, discourteous and wrong” by the then Labour Leader. Imagine how the hard-working, hard-up people of that constituency felt knowing that their fat MP had claimed the maximum £4,800 allowance for food in a single year – larging it up at the M&S foodhall rather than Asda – and that, from 2005 to 2009, along with another MP, he also claimed over £100,000 on a central London flat they shared.

Imagine how depressed locals feel about their area, which continues its steep decline despite electing this Labour MP year after year. Locals who openly call their own area a “shitehole”

“Saturdays, and indeed weekdays, are now used by the local chavettes, known as ‘Sandwell Babes’ to go “daaaaan the market wiv lil Chelsie-Brookes and Riley-James to get them sum gear from sportzbox”, visit the fine selection of shops such as Heron or Farmfoods to stock up on “them gorjus curries for a pound”  full of elderly chavs who fight for baskets, and stop off at McDonalds to buy a well-deserved, calorie laden, bargain meal and cop a shag in the toilets with local chav boys who will leave their mark in the shape of a big fat hickey or 6 on chavettes generous sized neck.”

Imagine how you’d feel as a constituent of this dilapidated constituency seeing your MP resign again after another failed, pound-shop, Machiavellian stunt that came to be known as Smeargate. Imagine an MP incapable of, or unwilling to, intervene in the shenanigans of a shockingly-run local council accused of incompetence and corruption: “Right on his very doorstep there are allegations of fraud, misconduct in public office, sexism, and bullying – and he has hardly breathed a word,” said the neighbouring MP.

Now imagine, as a constituent of this MP, watching your MP showboating on the news as some kind of People’s Champion, trying to bring down the Murdoch Empire and sitting alongside the likes of arch hypocrites Steve Coogan and Hugh Grant, who are forever infamous for living off their fame and not keeping it in their trousers. Now imagine that same MP aligning with a millionaire with a dark past associated with fascists, sadomasochist dungeon sex sessions and blatant racism, accepting half a million pounds off him and using part of it to help fund your own vain Deputy Leadership campaign, while your constituents continue to suffer their economic meltdown.

Imagine not apologising to those constituents, especially those from the Caribbean, who must have been scared witless in the 60’s when this millionaire donor had his name put to a leaflet calling for a “stop to coloured immigration which threatens your children’s health”. Now imagine the MP not handing this tainted money back, paying tribute to the dodgy millionaire’s work in fighting for curbs on press freedom – even after the leaflet is exposed – and refusing to condemn his benefactor.

Imagine your MP having an association with the rubbished investigation agency “Exaro” and continuing to talk of a VIP paedophile ring operating out of Westminster even when at the centre of allegations was a known fantasist. How do you feel when your MP hounds a dying man to his grave? Your MP sinks lower than the News of the World reporters he and Hacked Off once fought. (However invasive and prurient their scoops, they were at least true.)

Imagine your MP being the centre of rumours circulating about a new plot to oust the incumbent Labour Leader. One wonders how Momentum must feel about this document from WBLM floating around the Web and social media…

WBLM - Copy

Just resign, Mr Watson. You are not fit to be an MP. You’re a sorry pipsqueak of a man, making a mockery of our parliament. You are shamefully failing your constituents because all that you care about is you. You’re a pound shop Machiavelli, Watson, in a country replete with well-educated Machiavellis who buy and sell your sort. Give up. Get back in your box, get a job in the community to actually help the constituents you have let down so badly over the years.

Momentum – deselect this Pipsqueak. He represents the very worst of Labour, which needs an excision. He’s no better than the man who slips him his slimy, fascistic dosh. Not someone you should give the time of day to if you truly care about the Labour Party and genuinely claim to help the likes of West Bromwich East’s hard-up constituents.