BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE
If the BBC is the mouthpiece of the Guardian, then Sky News is its ringpiece – at least that’s the organ their appraisal of 2020 conjures up. Though it’s presented to us in a form as benign as any fatuous female supplement column, the subjects are more insidious than that of gluten intolerance. Make no mistake, this is a study in unrelenting wokeness.
The first thing you notice, the thing you cannot but notice, is a billboard size image of a lesbian snog, upon which the headline sits, vying for our attention like a chihuahua against a greyhound. It promises news that proves 2020 wasn’t all that bad, but beneath it comes a farrago of woke stories which only make us grateful we were locked down to escape them.
First comes news that Finland is to pass laws which give fathers more time with their babies – a cunning ploy to up work attendance, perhaps? The mirthful wonders of same sex marriage then get a mention as Northern Ireland has deigned to legalise them. Having actually been in a same sex marriage, I’m rather inclined to delegalize them myself. Still, in the interest of civil rights, everyone should have an equal right to misery. And it looks like our American cousins can forget fag breaks as LGBT people are to be awarded protections from discrimination in the workplace. Does one detect a theme here? Were these news pieces by any chance curated by guest editor Titania McGrath?
Of course, I needn’t tell you that the death of George Floyd is invoked in the article, and in such sentimental terms as if he were the William Wallace of Wakanda. the orgiastic fury of white wannabe revolutionaries that swept America in the wake of his death destroyed a fair few black livelihoods. Why don’t they ever get a mention? The answer: their lives just didn’t matter. A Marxist front organisation is never a good vehicle for racial justice, and it’s an even worse one when employed in countries where institutional injustice doesn’t even exist.
At this point, weaker souls may have buckled under the pressure of punishingly large amounts of leftist rot being forced down their throats. My gag reflex being somewhat more robust, I persevered…
Though most children see crayons as nothing more than a tool to create dinosaurs or dragons, Crayola has something imminently more exciting in mind: all the colours of ethnic minority skin tones! I’m sure it will go down a treat with vague-minded androgynous creatures at North London soirées, but one can’t help thinking that even their little, brainwashed offspring may be left somewhat less enthused.
Then there is a recognition of the clap for carers practice. I am told there is to be another one this year. Clearly, we didn’t try hard enough during the first call to clap, or perhaps this is a punishment from our NHS (thanks be upon it) for heterosexuality. Either way, the remedy is to clap, and clap harder.
I’m not saying nothing happened in 2020 to inspire hope, only that it’s nothing Sky News would ever publish. One being the ruling that calling a transvestite a ‘pig in the wig’ isn’t against the law. If the censorious left had bollocks to begin with, then this ruling certainly hit them where it hurts. ‘Freedom of speech doesn’t mean freedom from consequences‘ is the weaselly refrain of the would-be tyrant; an observation so obvious it isn’t worth saying unless you’re saying the consequences will be something more consequential than criticism.
GB News is set to launch soon, and so for Sky News and its fading wokerati, the grim reaper no doubt looms closely.