Countryside Wary of Carrie

BY MELISSA KITE The girl in the eco-dress is making me nervous. Ever since Carrie Symonds, the girlfriend of Boris Johnson, went to a bird-watching festival wearing a dress rumoured to be made of something that doesn’t destroy the planet, unlike the clothes worn by you and me, I have been fretting. The highly disingenuous speech she made at this festival, about puffin hunting, which … Continue reading Countryside Wary of Carrie

Priapic Boris Under Fire

BY ALEXIA JAMES And so it begins… The personal attacks on Boris Johnson via the usual enemies (Guardian, New Statesman, Mirror, Remain etc) have begun in earnest. A late-night row with his girlfriend recorded through a wall by an individual with the Guardian on speed-dial, who called the police because of the noise Boris and his girlfriend Carrie Symonds were making, is the first attempt … Continue reading Priapic Boris Under Fire