BY DOMINIC WIGHTMAN One notices, if one pays attention at all, that we have entered an era where the superlative has murdered the substantive. Where once we measured statements by their truth, we now appraise them by their capacity to startle. A headline declaring ‘Tax Policy Revised’ gathers dust; ‘Minister Claims Eating Cold Beans ‘Worse Than Welfare Cuts’ in Tone-Deaf LBC Interview’ goes viral. It is against this … Continue reading Why I Am Cutting Off My Penis
BY ALEX STORY Macron, Merz and Starmer met on a train to Kiev, to discuss important matters pertaining to the war in the Ukraine. The threesome would hold talks with Zelensky. The aim: to push Russia to agree a reasonable ceasefire. With real prospects of further escalation, the stakes could hardly be higher. To capture the solemn occasion, Agence France Press (AFP), the reputed French … Continue reading On the Devil’s Dandruff?
BY JOHN NASH Dear Reader, it is time to reach for the ivory panic bars on either side of your commode. We bring to you a sensational revelation. On 15th February, The Guardian dramatically revealed, “WWF helping facilitate trade in polar bear fur, investigation reveals. Wildlife charity backs policy of exploitation of small number of some endangered species for economic purposes – such as trophy hunting”, written … Continue reading Bear Truths
BY STEWART SLATER There is a trauma which unites the females of Britain. Which tortures them in the small hours. In Leith, Rotherham, Port Talbot and all across the land, the country’s womenfolk talk of little but the moment they learned that they could never join the Garrick Club. But relief is at hand. For after a solid month of articles in The Guardian, many … Continue reading Clubs and Karens
BY JENS ULRICH HØGH On the 26th of July 2022 The Guardian published a review of a “documentary” called “Lion Spy”. I reacted to the review – which I saw as more of a contribution to a deliberate campaign against hunting than an actual review – by writing The Guardian a letter. It’s been well over a week and I’ve had no reaction from The … Continue reading The Guardian of Propaganda
BY DAVID EYLES Upland farming has come under attack recently from a number of sources. Criticism is often levelled at hill farmers because they require large public subsidies to keep them going. Grumbling is also directed at hill farmers because they are perceived to be responsible for ‘overgrazing’ and thus denuding the upland landscape of its ability to hold back large quantities of water during … Continue reading Monbiot Vision Flawed
BY NICK PEARCE What would we do without the BBC every now and again underlining the superiority of urban living? Or The Guardian simultaneously asking scary questions in headlines like, “the British countryside is being killed by herbicides and insecticides – can anything save it?” The BBC lets us know that “City residents tend to suffer from higher levels of asthma, allergies and depression. But that’s OK…. “they also tend … Continue reading City Life is Far Superior
BY BEN PENSANT Every true liberal loves The Guardian. There’s been surveys and everything. Sure, the relationship between principled progressives and Britain’s favourite left-wing love-sheet has been somewhat rocky during the Corbyn years, and no-one has been more vociferous than me in demanding the paper’s subversive elements are dealt with in the strongest possible manner. (Or at the very least sent regular death threats on … Continue reading The G
BY SAM WHITE On one occasion I even, I am ashamed to admit… Even what..? Where might this suspenseful construction be leading? …assaulted an Anglican vicar? …ran over a guide dog and set fire to Oxfam? Here’s the full sentence: On one occasion I even, I am ashamed to admit, very diplomatically expressed negative sentiments on Islam to my wife. Oh. My. God. The horror. … Continue reading I am Ashamed to Admit I …
BY DOMINIC WIGHTMAN I never much liked The Guardian. I’ve always found it jam-packed with hypocritical nonsense, frankly. However, I do admit that once in a while a decent article or scoop appears in its pages and I hold nothing against those jottings on cricket by the estimable Vic Marks. I began to distrust the “Grauniad” when I dated an American feminist a long time ago … Continue reading Guardian Begs for Money
