Theresa May Day Cocktail

Ingredients: 

  • 2 ripe peaches (pitted and roughly chopped)
  • 1 tonne of lies
  • 1 part​ rum
  • A dose of cowardice
  • 4​ strawberries (cubed)
  • 2 passion fruit (flesh and seeds)
  • Several catchy phrases that mean nowt
  • 4 ounces cloudy apple juice
  • 1 tablespoon superfine sugar
  • 1 massive act of treachery
  • 2 teaspoons fresh ginger (grated)
  • 1​ cup crushed ice
  • 2 Tin ears
  • Garnish: Apple fans

Instructions:

  • Blend all the ingredients together with crushed ice.
  • Delay. Delay some more.
  • Pour the mix equally into two highball glasses.
  • Play each side off against each other and claim more days in office.
  • Garnish with an apple fan.
  • Run for the hills after a quick dash into Millets.
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