BY NICK PEARCE

After Momentum got annoyed with our Editor for happening to overhear their election strategy on a train, Country Squire Magazine decided the only civilised course of action was to cultivate a source inside Momentum for the duration of this General Election. Momentum are licking their wounds at the moment – fresh from their run-in with the Electoral Commission and after their leader’s embarrassing attempt at budging Tom Watson as deputy leader of the Labour Party.

We shall release any tidbits to CCHQ and to the Brexit Party team as they filter back to us, while publishing anything of public interest so voters know what the red anorak army are up to. Country Squire now has sources inside Extinction Rebellion and Momentum – finally CSM acolytes have a woke excuse to sport red trousers.

It seems Generaloberst Lansman of Momentum has been busy issuing orders of late and so have his lieutenant Blockleiters and Zellenleiters. One of these orders affects all of those of us who tune into radio call-ins. 

Radio stations like LBC and local stations which conduct public call-ins are to be bombarded with phone calls by Momentum cells during the election run-in. Callers are advised to be prepared with fake names, use 141 and to choose a location distant from one which might identify them. The callers are then to “set the airwave agenda”, focusing in on:

• BORIS – his “untrustworthiness” and history of failed relationships.
• NHS Privatisation under the Tories.
• The “spike” in HOMELESSNESS, mentioning cold temperatures and Christmas.
• A decade of AUSTERITY – how it does not need to be like this. “The opposite of austerity is growth”.

These callers should be fairly easy to spot. DJ’s should have lots of fun by finding out on air who’s using a fake name.

In any case, these seem like easy arguments to shoot down?

• Jeremy Corbyn liaises with terrorists. He’s been married three times and divorced twice. He slept with Diane Abbott.
• The NHS is a bottomless pit and hardly ripe for privatisation. For 62 per cent of the NHS’s lifespan it has been in the hands of Tory governments, and yet Britain’s socialised healthcare system remains stubbornly socialised.
• Government spending on the homeless is now up to £422m. The government is aiming to end rough sleeping by 2027 and is closing in on their earlier target of halving rough sleeping by 2022.
• The opposite of austerity is not growth. The antonym of austerity is in fact indebtedness.

For any Momentum brainwashees reading this, please now go and read this, especially chapter thirteen on the recruiting of psychopolitical dupes.