Momentum Training

BY THE EDITOR

The Arriva Cross Country train service down from Aberdeen to Plymouth is a strain in second class. The legroom is limited, there’s not a lot of space for luggage and, if you end up in an aisle seat, expect to be bashed by those walking down the carriage unless you’re unhealthily skinny. Beware the travellers with verbal diarrhoea from Kirkcaldy who are on their second bottle of Malbec – and third pack of Hula Hoops – by half past ten in the morning. Nonetheless, no pain no gain – my journey yesterday on this train offered some fruit when a crowd embarked at Bristol Temple Meads.

A middle-aged lady in faded red dungarees decided to sit next to me and she was joined by a fat bearded fellow who mopped his brow with a Burger King napkin while swigging on a Cola. They were soon joined by another fat, bearded fellow – younger than the first fellow – and they were soon talking shop, as they clearly all worked together.

“Mugabe’s death means we should create a meme with a bunch of dictators on it and put Boris alongside them,” said the lady in dungarees, to which her colleagues heartily agreed. “Thornberry last night on Question Time was useful only on that Universal Credit quote from the Lib Dems,” said the younger fat guy, “otherwise she was a total wash-out.”

It soon became clear these three individuals were working for Momentum/Labour and they were talking about “supporting election candidates” through UNITE the union.

“His choice to stand in front of those police cadets the other day was stupid,” the elder fat guy declared, “he’s so Trumpian.”

And so they chatted on until the elder guy disembarked at Taunton and the other two got out at Exeter St Davids.

So, what did they let slip?

  • The longer Jeremy Corbyn rejected an election the more difficult their job was.
  • They were planning to show Sorry We Missed You – the new Ken Loach propaganda film – in a series of public screenings across the UK to wind people up before the upcoming election, which they thought would be in November. 
  • Jared O’Mara has really let the side down. The Lib Dems will win back Nick Clegg’s Sheffield seat and there were efforts underway to prevent O’Mara 1) getting a £50k parachute payment when his time as an MP ended and 2) opening his mouth at all in the pre-election build-up. “We held out so much hope for him,” they all said, ruefully. 
  • A fellow called Darren in the South West is sponsored by UNITE but he hates Corbyn so much that he is running on an independent ticket. They discussed having his financial support removed and cracking down on other anti Corbyn union-backed candidates in the South West. They insisted on getting Darren’s website content changed. Darren was representative of a lot of “idiots” in the South West who purported to be Labour supporters but disliked Corbyn. 
  • “We don’t care about money,” they all agreed. The election would not be fought on the economy – fortunately – as the public did care about money but now all they care about is Brexit. 
  • Kathy Pearce – former Bridgwater Labour candidate – just did not cut it and they seemed to agree working with her was pointless. The elder fat guy – brought in from Oxford – seemed to think that existing Labour people west of Bristol were all awful and they were “blockers” to the plans coming from Labour HQ. There was little chance against Boris of a seat anywhere west of Bristol, although Exeter was a shoo-in.
  • The younger guy talked about having to meet a Labour man in Bristol who was complaining that the Jews were increasingly taking over the media. The three of them laughed. “I told him that I agreed but I could not support him,” the younger guy cackled. I looked out of the window at this point and then checked to see my phone was still recording. “They are tightening control of the media,” he concluded.
  • “We’ve been told to highlight how Boris is saying one thing about the environment and yet his words are not backed up by his actions,” said the older fat guy. “That is hard work,” responded the dungareed woman. “Our strength is the environmental lobby,” the younger fellow piped up, “Extinction Rebellion are key, especially in Bristol.”
  • They all feared Boris and his message. 

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And there my debrief ends. I’ve sent the more relevant details to the key people – better not published on here.

CCHQ, you’re OK down in the South West where you could pin a blue rosette on a stray dog and it will win if you deliver Brexit. However, beware the cities where Momentum are mass-mobilising, falling back on the Extinction Rebellion crusties to cause mayhem, from Bristol up the M4 and M5.

As for my train companions, I now know who you are. So does Thangam by now. Really poor opsec! Vote Conservative.

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