I may be a simple Kensington girl with a modest trust fund and a thirst for justice, but it is my destiny to guide your generation to a new world order. I’m like a younger, hotter, female version of the Pied Piper of Hamelin, and you are my rats.

So writes everyone’s favourite ecosexual, socialist, trans-disabled, intersectional feminist, Titania McGrath, who returns with My First Little Book of Intersectional Activism, the sequel to Woke: A Guide to Social Justice, which I reviewed for CSM some years back. If you’re wondering what “ecosexual” and “trans-disabled” could possibly be, shame on you. Titania only has sex with plants and vegetables and is permitted to use the more spacious public toilet facilities in spite of her functioning legs. In her follow up to Woke, Titania has decided to target your children with her intersectional polemic, especially those whose parents are heterosexual and voted for Brexit. The book very clearly defines who the heroes and villains are in the 21st century. Greta Thunberg and Meghan Markle are godlike, and anyone who doesn’t agree is guilty of hate speech, Jordan Peterson is a Nazi who should be punched on sight, the infant drag queen Desmond is Amazing is a role model for your obviously transgender children, even if the alt-right have wrongly complained that a child dressed like a Bangkok prostitute pretending to snort ketamine on the bar in front of drunk adults throwing money at him is “disturbing”.

Before laughing at a joke, ask yourself the following questions:

Does the joke avoid offensive subject matter?

Is the comedian representative of a marginalised group?

Can you be sure the comedian has never said or done anything problematic?

If the answer to any of these is no… Do.Not.Laugh.

In an even more furious tone than her first book, McGrath makes the transgender debate of primary importance. Numerous trans activists are defended with careful, witty prose, to the degree where she successfully argues that homosexuality is the biggest threat to transsexuality, and sexuality is fluid except in the case of heterosexuality, in which case it is a serious mental illness. The book is exhaustively researched, except in the chapter on Nelson Mandela, and when she splendidly proves that Abraham Lincoln was actually a transitioned woman, (the first female president in American history) which she convincingly argues without any “facts”, “logic” or “scientific proof”. In the chapter about Dr Veronica Ivy, (who was never formerly known as Rachel McKinnon, and certainly never formerly formerly known as Rhys McKinnon) this “internationally renowned doctor of cycling” was never able to win any races as a man (which she never was) but as a woman won the UCI Masters Track Cycling World Championships. Bravely defending trans women against reality, she took to social media in 2019 to benevolently express her joy at the news that Magdalen Berns, a trans exclusionary radical feminist, had been diagnosed with brain cancer. Ivy fought the trans cause further by publicly longing for cis gender people to “die in a grease fire”.

Titania McGrath is the arch defender of brave, beautiful transgender women everywhere (who have manipulated the confusion of the digital media age to gain huge followings on Twitter) never more so than in the case of the trans activist Jessica Yaniv who was accused of purchasing the majority of her 140,000 Twitter followers (by obviously jealous cis gender TERFs). Yaniv, fighting for equal rights for all women, (especially those with a female penis), took female beauticians to court when they wouldn’t wax her lady scrotum. The jealous backbiting continued in the media, when the brave and beautiful Yaniv was alleged to have a predatory fetish for young girls:

What these accusers failed to realise is that Jessica had only behaved in this way before she transitioned to female, so how could she possibly be held accountable for the toxic masculinity of the male she never was?

A thrilling, masterclass in woke journalism, My First Little Book of intersectional Activism is even more urgent than McGrath’s debut. For any self-respecting Labour voter who hates democracy, heterosexuality, free speech, the working classes, (or anything else for that matter that they can be offended at on their social media platforms) and knows instinctively that communism works, it’s a no-brainer. Buy this book. Think like us. Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present now, controls the past.

Follow Andrew Moody on Twitter @VoguishFiction_