CSM STAFF WRITER

During medieval times, a squire was a youthful aspirant seeking knighthood. The journey to become a squire was a prolonged and demanding process encompassing multiple phases of training and service.

Initiating the path to squiredom involved either being born into a noble family or being selected as a ward by a lord or knight. The initial stage of this progression was the training as a page, typically commencing at the age of seven. As a page, the young individual acquired fundamental skills in manners, etiquette, and the rudiments of warfare.

Following several years of page training, usually around the age of 14 or 15, the young person progressed to the rank of squire. As a squire, they continued their education in the art of warfare, honing skills in horseback riding, weapon handling, and participating in simulated battles.

In addition to combat training, the squire’s responsibilities included serving as an assistant to their knight and tending to their needs. They accompanied the knight to battles, tournaments, and social gatherings, absorbing lessons from their experiences and observing their conduct.

The culmination of the journey towards knighthood involved a ceremony known as “dubbing.” During this ritual, the squire knelt before their knight and was ceremoniously touched on the shoulders with a sword, symbolising the transition into knighthood.

The path to becoming a squire and ultimately a knight demanded years of rigorous training, dedicated service, and was typically reserved for those of noble lineage or those chosen by a lord or knight to receive such an esteemed honour.

Today almost anyone can be referred to as a squire but in the UK in the twenty-first century it helps if the squire has gone to private school, grew up in a manor house (preferably in the home counties) and was, on previous occasions, referred to by the servers at the village shop as ‘squire’ or ‘your lordship’.

It is impossible for a squire to be a socialist or to wear attire acquired from Primark. Being a squire and living in a Barratt home would seem incongruous just as being a squire and imbibing cheap lager would appear similarly incompatible.

Squires, whether modern day or from days of yore, should at all times be polite and courteous except in the presence of traitors or communists.

Squires should hold the door open for all women, even feminists who complain about the fact the squire is being polite.

Finally, squires should cut their stilton rather than scooping it.

There is little point being a squire unless at some point the squire becomes a knight.