BY GARY BAXTER
As I sit in a loading bay I am currently stewing over a video that I had sent to me the other day by Squire Blacktop of a river keeper on the Test, one of this country’s best trout chalk streams who is being completely savaged by the absolute clowns at Natural England who are telling him that his conservation work is damaging the river as he is supposedly putting the WRONG gravel in. But they and their partners in crime are busy pumping sewage in as hard as they can!!! While the local so called Wildlife Trust is doing sweet F to stop it.
It seems that this poor chap is a second generation keeper and that bunch of uni-educated toss pots think he knows NOTHING. Well, Southern Water / Natural England, let me enlighten you and your waste of space and bloody oxygen mates at the local wildlife group:
That gentleman knows far more than you 3 groups will ever know about his particular bit of the river which he’s been managing for forty years or more. He knows what’s good for the fish and what is not. The knowledge he carries will be far greater than yours as by the looks of it yours can be written on half a second class stamp.
I am sick to bloody death of the shambolic and treacherous behaviour of these organisations who shout ‘conservation’, ‘rescue’ and ‘cruelty’ at the top of their voices and then do this. You are the lowest of the bloody low. And it appears that your own water authority are still pumping into the river as well.
Well, listen up, all you Water CEOs. The half-hearted fines that you get need to be STOPPED FORTHWITH as I am now of the opinion that we should fine YOU personally and remove ALL your bonuses, jollies and stock options.
You have you no clue of the damage you are doing or you don’t actually give a flying F with the I’m all right Jack attitude you are displaying. Privately you must be thinking ‘bugger the rivers and all living creatures in them’. And I will say I for one am not adverse to jailing you for your behaviour.
As for the idiot in charge of Natural England, when are you going to get of your arse and start doing your bloody job man? Or are you still happy knowing taxpayers’ money is supporting your organisation and getting nothing back from you that does anything any good? All we get is more predator release!!! And buggering up our rare birds. At the rate you’re going the only thing we could soon catch in the rivers is a turd-covered baby wipe… not much of a sport, that, is it? Honestly, if we appointed the Editor’s terrier in your place, he’d do a far superior job to the one you’re doing. And he’d not pander to outliers… he’d rip their legs off!
And, Dear Readers, if you think that river malarkey is bad, believe me it only gets worse…
A rewilding project in Rutland came to light this week. Some spanner up there wants to turn out wolves and bears in an enclosure. So, what’s next?? Walk a wolf for £20?? Well that I think constitutes a zoo or what those intrepid Isle of Wight big cat rescuers would call a ‘sanctuary’?
So, can I ask just how bloody many of these ‘rewilding’ scams are going on? All are supposed to be ‘rewilding’ but I bet my last quid most are rigged for the tourist trade. May I suggest if you want to turn wolf out on our island we let them and the bears go in the cities? That should cure urban obesity in a week or so! Or maybe let the buggers loose in parliament is a better idea!!!!! I’d rather enjoy seeing a bear at PMQs. Or a wolf breaking in on a socialist committee working out new definitions for snatch and widget.
Now while I think about it another lunatic has sprung up in Rutland…
Who the hell thinks it’s OK to chuck out those over-bloated flat-tailed tree chewers on a trout stream in our smallest county?!! Some bloody idiot does. God knows why. Are you unaware that it’s a trout stream? A very nice one at that. I know as I fished it years ago with the now owner. If you do this, you will destroy that bit of water and no doubt bugger up the trout !!! In layman’s terms LEAVE IT ALONE this is not a suitable place.
I have been wondering just how much money is being made in these releases of animals and birds all over the place. Who is paying the bills ?
I hear some nice chap wishes to release ruff out on the east coast. I think that could be a blinding idea … mmm maybe not. Then, bugger me, I heard he wanted to build a house for a warden on the Saltmarsh!! Strange that, don’t you think? If it’s only being used a few months a year what about the rest of the time?? I would of thought a static caravan would do or is there another plan afoot??? Build a house in a beauty spot and flog it for many hundreds of thousands in a few years, perhaps?
Thanks for reading my rants, people. They do my blood pressure no good at all but, as they say in these parts, if the Truth doesn’t surface first time, keep on ramming it home and she’ll eventually come.
Have a good weekend!
Gary Baxter is the son of a gamekeeper, is an ex gamekeeper and has run his own falconry based bird control business for the last 20 years.