BY JIM WEBSTER During first lockdown, behind the scenes, major retailers performed logistical miracles. As a farmer I’m not somebody who is prone to praise them, but in spite of ridiculous levels of panic buying (there are people out there who won’t need to buy toilet paper for another couple of years) the retailers managed to keep the show on the road. During lockdown I … Continue reading Too Little Wheat, Too Much Makeup
BY JIM WEBSTER I went down to London the other day. First time for a couple of years, so I was quite intrigued to see what things were like down there. On the train and at the stations, masks were optional. Pretty much the same proportion of people were wearing them as wear them round here. Once in the big city it did feel quiet. … Continue reading What Shall the Future Bring Us?
BY JIM WEBSTER I used to boast at one time that in our dairy herd we had every colour of cow, other than green. Green would be far too difficult to spot when out at grass. (Actually Black and White cows, in the early morning, can be damned difficult to spot when they’re standing against a hedge line. They’re woodland animals wearing woodland camo). But … Continue reading Cowman
BY JIM WEBSTER Spend much time in farming and you’ll end up dealing with agricultural engineers. There is only so much you can fix with baler twine. In my time I’ve seen steel bars ‘reinforced’ by having heavy pieces of timber strapped to them using string. I’ve seen somebody get a tractor home, steering with the independent brake because the steering wheel no longer turned … Continue reading Just Fix This
BY JIM WEBSTER I remember an old farmer commenting about lads ‘helping out.’ “One boy is one boy. Two boys is half a boy, three boys is no boy at all.” I know of a couple of farms round here that used to get a lot of lads ‘helping out.’ With village farms where the village was a community, not a dormitory suburb, it was … Continue reading Lads
BY JIM WEBSTER Six days shall you labour and on the seventh rest. Except when I took this photo (featured) it was Sunday morning, and we were pretty much guaranteed showers the day after and heavy rain on the Wednesday. So the reseeding had to be done now. And time off in lieu? That’s not an agricultural term. After they’d finished ploughing, just out of … Continue reading Quiet Heroes
BY JIM WEBSTER Yes, Prime Minister, if you’ll just walk this way please. I’m glad to see that your advisers made sure they bought you a pair of wellingtons especially for this trip. Oh? Wellington has been airbrushed from history because of his links with Slavery? Or Ireland? Whatever, just put them on. The purpose of taking you round this comparatively ordinary dairy farm is … Continue reading Dairy Farm 2050
BY JIM WEBSTER When I looked across at this view this morning whilst I was feeding heifers, it did strike me that I’ve not got a bad place to be ‘self-isolated’ in. Looking east across Morecambe Bay towards the hills of the Pennines. I really can’t grumble. Nonetheless, on one of my rare forays onto social media today, somebody had posted something along the lines … Continue reading Define Key
BY JIM WEBSTER Have you ever wondered whether you were breaking the law or not? This morning I was quietly minding my own business, walking round the farm checking to see that various batches of sheep were OK. Of course I had Sal with me because even when there’s no formal work to be done, she can still be useful. She’ll find the ones who’re … Continue reading Accidental Fox Hunting
BY JIM WEBSTER Sheep aren’t the most stupid of God’s creatures; they’re not even the most stupid mammal. Indeed, horses could well have been created to allow sheep to feel that smug glow of intellectual superiority that everyone needs from time to time. Not that this is high praise. There are single celled creatures floating in seas of freezing ammonia, illuminated by the dying suns … Continue reading A Cumbrian Farmer Writes
