A Guide To Post Millennial English

BY MATTHEW CORRIGAN With the holiday season descending and the post-Brexit Pound having found a more realistic level, we may well soon be seeing an influx of foreign tourists to our shores. As ever, they will be most welcome. Seasoned visitors to the UK will be only too aware of our dismal performance when it comes to foreign languages, and will very likely have a … Continue reading A Guide To Post Millennial English

Really? You’re Allergic?

BY ANDY COLLIDGE What a world we live in, overstating almost everything, with entire social groups applying pressure upon themselves because they read something, heard something, or some media ass**** said something. Pressures that are not actually real, but, for an awful lot of people nowadays, an actuality that they seem to have to adhere to; their mindset overruled by the concept that it is … Continue reading Really? You’re Allergic?

10 Countryside Villagers You Might Know

BY NIKKI WILDE Sir Max Strapley – octogenarian head of the local Conservatives with a penchant for sherry and golf. Once got in trouble with the police for straying onto a village footpath from his garden carrying a Purdey Over and Under which he pointed at ramblers. Bob Quince – the local publican. Retired policeman from the Big Smoke full of tales of derring-do. Built … Continue reading 10 Countryside Villagers You Might Know

A Cumbrian Farmer Writes

BY JIM WEBSTER Over the years, I’ve avoided equine entanglements. I used to boast that I’d eaten horse more recently than I’d ridden one, but now, thanks to Tesco, pretty well everyone can say that. Still, I’ve avoided going into the whole “livery yard” diversification thing. Not through innate conservatism or immense wisdom but basically because I’d heard too many stories. One lass I knew … Continue reading A Cumbrian Farmer Writes

A Cumbrian Farmer Writes

BY JIM WEBSTER Sheep aren’t the most stupid of God’s creatures; they’re not even the most stupid mammal. Indeed, horses could well have been created to allow sheep to feel that smug glow of intellectual superiority that everyone needs from time to time. Not that this is high praise. There are single celled creatures floating in seas of freezing ammonia, illuminated by the dying suns … Continue reading A Cumbrian Farmer Writes

Why You Should Marry A Farmer’s Daughter

BY ANNA BOWEN No really, you should. Chances are she can use a gun, whether its for game, vermin or clays. Only issue is that she may shoot straighter than you… Big machines won’t phase her. Nor will going fast on a quad bike with limited safety considerations. After a lifetime with a horse between her legs she has thighs of steel and a remarkable … Continue reading Why You Should Marry A Farmer’s Daughter