Moody’s Thoughts: Lineker


After I’d just been placed under Section 3 of the Mental Health Act, one of the ward nurses told me he was off for a week to enjoy the World Cup in the pub. I had no leave and it was boiling hot.

“Mate,” I said, “and I mean this: If England make it to the final, I may deign to watch part of the second half.”

He shot me an evil look and left, locking the ward door behind him. Obviously, football did not (and will not) ever be coming home, let’s face it, but I was proud of Gareth Southgate for exorcising the penalty hoodoo and one of the worst international football reputations, post Iceland, in football history. Great beard, too.

For quite some time there have been many millionaire football stars who have loads of money but no respect for the democratic process but seem very “concerned” with the mental health of those awful Leave voters. Gary Lineker, friend to JK Rowling and one of the most condescending men in the country, now believes “blocking Brexit is more important than football”. Of course, opinions like these are why England will never win a World Cup. Lineker is backing the People’s Vote, an anti-democratic campaign to reverse the true People’s vote. It is run by Prominent Lib Democrats and Labour MPs.

Of course as a wealthy man, getting even wealthier on BBC licence fees prized from struggling single mothers, he still has time to tweet about the Michelin restaurants he, unlike racist slob leave voters, can actually afford to dine in.

During Mental Health Awareness Week, on Have I got News for You, in between its canned laughter, he made a joke about Tottenham fans committing mass suicide by “swinging from lampposts.” Having been in the Mental Health System since 2002, I am both a suicide survivor and have known upwards of thirty people who have taken their own lives. I suppose if they were going to vote Leave, no problem, right? For me this now negates any political views he may have in future, but of course I’d be more than willing to let him buy me dinner in a posh restaurant to discuss further.

Follow Andrew Moody on Twitter @Voguishfiction