7 Majestic Minutes

BY FRANK HAVILAND Award ceremonies have long since been redundant, but it was not always the case. In the Golden Age of cinema, they provided a rare opportunity for stars to go off-script, and actually say something of significance. It wasn’t perhaps until 1973 with Marlon Brando refusing the Best Actor Oscar for The Godfather that politics became infused with self-congratulation. For the record, in … Continue reading 7 Majestic Minutes

Brits Are Not Racist

BY FRANK HAVILAND As Dirty Harry famously put it, opinions are like arseholes: everybody’s got one. Celebrity opinions on the other hand are more like Hugh Grant electoral endorsements: amusing curios, with all the efficacy of oral sex from Siri. So forgive me if I can’t get too excited about December’s angst-ridden multi-millionaire, ‘Stormzy’, or Michael Ebenazer Kwadjo Omari Owuo Jr., as I prefer to … Continue reading Brits Are Not Racist

Owen Jones-Corbyn

BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE I thought it rather fitting that the charity ‘Period Power’ chose that boy with the curious habit of making frenzied fisting gesticulations to be their patron. Fitting because my thoughts on Owen Jones could be condensed into that four letter word which so eloquently describes the private parts of a woman. But I’m afraid that today, calling him that simply won’t do; … Continue reading Owen Jones-Corbyn

Greta

BY BEN PENSANT There are many things to admire about pint-sized Eco-warrior Greta Funbag, such as her courage, intellect, shiny locks, and cute-as-a-button nose. She has a finger-wagging demeanour which is beautifully complimented by a cold stare so piercing it could make an organic onion cry. However, Greta’s two most impressive features have little to do with pigtails or principles. In fact they have little … Continue reading Greta

Localism is Best?

BY PHIL DEEKS Imagine a group of countries, each with varying histories and cultures (some linked, some not), each with distinct economies (some developed, some not) and each with their own domestic concerns. Is it wise for them to follow the same monetary and social policies as each other? I posed this question on Twitter to a follower group of a left/liberal bent. 85% of … Continue reading Localism is Best?

Policing Pronouns

BY FRANK HAVILAND As some of our more myopic MPs will tell you, there’s never a copper around when you need one. They must be looking in the wrong places. Sadiq Khan tweets a good police cut, but always keeps half a dozen burly officers stashed under his mattress, ready to accompany him on walkabout around London. Never forget: ‘diversity is our strength’, except when … Continue reading Policing Pronouns