Parent 1 Parent 2


Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh… you know the rest. Roll on to 2019, and – you guessed it – it’s ‘transphobic, cisnormative and exclusionary’.

At the very start of Aldous Huxley’s seminal novel of 1931, Brave New World, we get plunged into what must have, at the time, seemed an utterly absurd concept. That of school-children giggling over ‘naughty’ words – something they always have done. The ‘dirty’ words. The ‘sex’ words. But in Huxley’s fervid imagination his fictitious kids covered their mouths and giggled over words that were – and still are – so common place as to not even merit thought in most:

Mother. Father. Family.

You wash your mouth out, you nasty little exclusionary you! What about ALL the gay, trans, gender non-conforming, lesbian, queer parents that feel uncomfortable with these age-old words and concepts that have been with us since the dawn of time because they say they aren’t comfortable with being branded as either? Perhaps they are uncomfortable with their biological reality? Perhaps they are politically motivated to try and create the kind of world Huxley’s imaginings warned us of?

Or maybe all three.

What about them?

Should we express our collective concern about the feelings that might be hurt by the use of these words that the VAST majority of us are MORE than happy with? Which just the minuscule percentage of parents wilfully reject?

According to the tiny minority we simply MUST pander to the person that gestated a child in their own womb but wants to be called ‘father’. We simply MUST bow down to the wishes of those that impregnated an egg with their own sperm but would insist that we call them ‘mother’.

Well, the solution has been arrived at in oh-so-progressive France this week as they simply ignore old Aldous’ warnings and pop those pesky words – all bound in Biology and millennia of understanding – into the postmodern bin. Don’t need them now, thank you very much. Foucault, Derrida and Lyotard must be smiling from the afterlife. Let us instead use the MUCH more inclusive ‘Parent 1’ and ‘Parent 2’. That will keep everyone happy, won’t it?

One can imagine where all this leads. Thankfully Huxley painted the roadmap for us almost 90 years ago now and – as all of us that have been following the Neomarxist march through our language shall know  – the lunatics amongst us have taken literature’s most dire and stark warnings of future’s best-avoided and used them as blueprints. So the postmodern transgender poison that infects the body politic continues to spread.

Remember, it was only a couple of years back that the London Underground stopped using ‘Ladies and Gentlemen’, and there have now been many stories of teachers reprimanded for calling their class ‘boys and girls’. Now, PC-gone-mad and slippery slopes aside, just where will all this end, Lords and Ladies?

One might imagine a radical rewrite to the traditional Royal Variety theatre opening:

“Your Royal Highnesses, My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen – boys and girls….” It’s hardly worth expending the energy on attempting to construct the kind of never-ending list of gender identities that the path we are currently on would necessitate in order to achieve fully wokeness levels acceptable to language fascists currently happily engaged in tearing our once beautiful, mellifluous language apart.

Maybe a couple of years back we might have enjoyed a little satirical fun-poking at the po-faced wannabe regulators of thought… no longer. This tiny minority is effectively hijacking the languages of the capitalist West and re-purposing them as a cosh with which to beat society into a new shape. Equality of outcome. And we – by proxy of the politicians we vote for – are simply allowing this to happen, as they are either utterly complicit with this fascism or are so woefully dense as to wonder how they got voted for in the first place.

So – which one are you? Parent 1 – or Parent 2? Who gets to decide? It shall be fun when it comes to divorce time? Not.

We all know by now that this linguistic cancer is designed with malice aforethought and the express intention of eroding away yet more of the linguistic mortar that keeps families together. Chillingly this change also makes it much easier for kids to grass on their parents to the State, which will start being encouraged in schools before too long. It’ll be the ‘fun’ stuff like grassing up Parent 1 to Teacher for not doing the recycling properly. Our children could become a threat to our social credit score.

When no one has a gender marker or informal title within the family unit, the only way to keep track of people is going to be the apocryphal tattoo on the arm, maybe a bar code this time – or, sod it – just go for the chip in the head.

In 70 short years, the power actually exists right this second to so radically rewrite the entire history of the Human race. The jewel in the crown for the POMOs is the English Language itself. They want it – this marvellous tricky language that encompasses the entire globe. The language of Science, of the Internet, of Business and Commerce – of Medicine. They want it free of ALL it’s pesky historical baggage of nation and empire and war. They want English as their own.

The guys at Google and other “progressive” outfits want to steal our language in order to rewrite and own Human history. As they tear down the statues, as those kids in future classrooms sit and form their very first words, it won’t be English they are speaking – Google’s parent company kindly telegraphs their intent with their name choice. Alphabet.

The kids shall all be learning Alphabet.

Mum and Dad with be ‘dirty’ words. Just like ‘man’ and ‘woman’.