Lamentable Lammy


The accolade of ‘Britain’s worst MP’ is fiercely contested at the quietest of times.  In these days of open treachery and blistering incompetence though, you have to really go some to be in the running. Cue David Lammy, the one-man race awareness course, who occasionally moonlights as the Labour MP for Tottenham.

Despite being a mere backbencher, Lammy is rarely out of the news. He makes his presence felt on a broad range of issues, few of which can be said to be of benefit. In February of this year he decided to attack the TV presenter Stacey Dooley for her charitable work in Africa, something he had notably declined to do himself. According to Lammy, Dooley’s work was unhelpful, and perpetuated ‘white saviour’ stereotypes. (I seriously doubt Dooley has a saviour complex, yet I’d put money on Lammy having a victim complex.)

Singlehandedly wiping £8million from Comic Relief’s takings didn’t faze our Dave however; for him this kind of result is child’s play. Like a woke, poor man’s King Midas, everything he touches turns to shit. It would never occur to him that starving Africans might welcome a few million quid, even if they had to suffer the ignominy of meeting Ed Sheeran.

So inept is Lammy, that for all the vibrant diversity he embodies, he has still managed to avoid a ministerial appointment at the hands of Jeremy Corbyn; an issue he predictably attributes to racism. Anyone sane would cast their eye over the Labour front benches before making such a statement, but then visual acuity isn’t Dave’s strong suit either.

Along with Theresa May’s negotiating skills, Bojo’s tidiness, and Diane Abbott’s maths wizardry, you can set your watch by Lammy’s astounding ability to call practically every situation the wrong way.

He is famed for his assertion that Papal smoke is racist; that colonialism should pick up the tab for every global injustice, and now, that being pro-Brexit not only makes you a Nazi, it doesn’t go far enough! Don’t even get me started on his mastermind masterclass.

Lammy spearheads a growing breed of anti-British mouthpieces, who not only have nothing to hate Britain for, but actively owe the country an enormous debt. Other notable luminaries of the Lammy School of Gratitude include Diane Abbott, Afua Hirsch, and Yasmin Alibhai-Brown. Where most would honour the nation that gave them succour, providing them with a privileged platform into the bargain, they spurn her for the chance to make political capital as lefty crusaders for social justice. The hypocrisy is staggering.

The gravest criticism of Lammy is that he is the embodiment of all he proclaims to oppose: he’s racist, egotistical, and intolerant – in short, a vastly more credible fascist, than the conservatives Nigel Farage and Jacob Rees-Mogg, who simply want Britain to govern herself.

Lammy’s hyperbole appears to be driven by the popular identity politics notion that anyone who is not a white man is a victim, no matter how hard the evidence contradicts him. This absurd ideology colours every inference he draws, most notably in his nonsensical critique of Comic Relief: sure, they’ve raised over £1Billion, but did it have to be so white? True to form, Lammy can find the downside to every victory, the flaw in every achievement, the racism in every vacuum.

Indeed, his overt anti-white stance is now so much a feature of his act, that it leads him to rather extraordinary pronouncements. Crime for instance is bad unless it’s committed by black men, in which case the Lammy Report says they should be able to hide their convictions. White men meanwhile, no matter how eminently qualified, should never be allowed to preside over a racially-sensitive inquiry, such as Grenfell Tower.

Politicians at the trough? That’ll be those Tory bastards at it again – unless it’s Lammy claiming a fortune for a second home, despite living 28 minutes away from Westminster. Absentee fathers are the scourge of the black community agrees Lammy, unless a white man says it, in which case we ought to lynch him. James Goddard calling Anna Soubry a Nazi is definitely worthy of a charge, but Lammy doing it is simply standing up for decency.

In short, hate has no place in society, unless it’s his kind of hate: his party, his leader, his politics, because he’s the victim. That’s the mentality we’re dealing with.

And for all his woke posturing, like the Labour Party, Lammy achieves precious little. As he states in a recent interview for ITV ‘Acting PM’:

‘For me, diversity is a bit broader than just if you’re an ethnic minority. So how do I want to put this? I want to see a Prime Minister who’s come from a housing estate in Sunderland. I want to see a Prime Minister who could have come from the 22nd floor of Grenfell Tower.’

Obviously Lammy has never heard of the grocer’s daughter, Margaret Thatcher, or Brixton’s favourite son, John Major. More likely, they represent the wrong kind of social mobility – the white kind.

It’s a shame that Lammy only wishes to fight a certain type of inequality. You’ll never hear him bemoan the neglect of the white working class; you are unlikely to hear him speak out on the white teenage victims of grooming across the nation. You’ll most certainly not hear him criticise the persecution of Her Majesty’s former soldiers.

Like a playground bully, Lammy is quite content throwing the Nazi slurs around, as long as no one dares to give him one back. Perhaps a moment of quiet reflection is in order; at least until he’s worked out that reflection is somehow racist?