Toast?

BY DOMINIC WIGHTMAN

“Dad, who did you vote for in the 2019 General Election?”

“I voted Labour that year.”

“For Mr Corbyn?”

“Yes.”

“But we learnt at school, Dad, that Jeremy Corbyn was an Anti-Semite and he almost single-handedly ruined the Labour Party.”

“Well, there was some talk of that at the time, son. But it was in vogue back then amongst my generation to vote for Labour. And the Prime Minister who won the election that year was Boris Johnson who wanted Brexit. We had no idea Brexit would turn out to be so fruitful, so more than half the country voted for anti-Brexit parties as we were so blindly pro-European.”

“But Dad, we learnt in politics today that 93% of Jews – a quarter of a million Brits – didn’t vote Labour in 2019 because they knew Corbyn was antisemitic. We’re not a Jewish family. You thought at the time that you understood antisemitism better than the vast majority of Jews?”

“No…. err…. I just didn’t want Brexit. Your mum and I even marched against Brexit. We were Remainers. Sometimes you just get things wrong, son. Toast?”

“But Dad, Jeremy Corbyn supported the IRA. He invited two IRA members to parliament two weeks after the Brighton bombing. He was friendly with Islamic extremists. He said Hamas and Hezbollah were his friends. He said the death of Osama Bin Laden was a tragedy and even after 9/11 he was photographed smiling with Azzam Tamimi, who backed suicide bombings. You voted Labour even though you could see what was happening in socialist Venezuela at the time?”

“Yes, I know, I know. But at the time we didn’t pay attention to all these things. We were young, naïve – like you, son.”

“I’m 16, Dad. You were 26 in 2019. If I had the vote today knowing what I know about Jeremy Corbyn and his friends do you really think that I would vote for someone who hated Britain that much? Would I really side with racists? With anti-Semites? Do you think I’d be so stupid as to lend my vote to an anti capitalist traitor who at every opportunity in his political career let the side down?”

“Err, no….what I mean is ….”

“Were you on drugs, Dad?”

“No, I wasn’t on drugs.”

“So it was a close escape, wasn’t it Dad? I mean, Britain could have been overrun by people who supported Corbyn and his friends. Britain could have ended up feeding the crocodile – like Sweden, like Belgium or parts of southern France. Swamped. No Go zones riddled with terrorists and bankrupted by benefits claimants who forever voted for perpetuation of socialist powers.”

“I know, son. We were lucky. Looking back I see now how lucky we were.”

“That’s interesting that you say that, Dad. I’m studying Ralph Waldo Emerson in English Lit. Do you know that quote of his about luck?”

“No, what’s that, son?”

“Shallow men believe in luck, Dad. Strong men believe in cause and effect.”

“Marmite, son?”

“No thanks, Dad. Buttered one side will do for me.”