BY DOMINIC WIGHTMAN I found him on the third of December, on the jagged slate below the harbour wall. W12 – so-called for the zinc marked ring some do-gooding knave in sandals had clamped to his leg, turning a sovereign into a specimen. The tide had receded, leaving him arranged there with terrible finality: a crumpled monograph of salt and hunger, one wing extended in … Continue reading Conversation with a Seagull
BY BERT BURNETT A spectre is haunting the Highlands—and it is not the ghost of rebellions past. It is the sleek, corporate spectre of the ‘mega-laird’, armed not with claymores but with spreadsheets, investment portfolios, and a publicly-stated aim to “save the world”. As highlighted in a recent opinion piece by Dr. Josh Doble, these entities—billionaires, asset managers, and firms like Exeter-based Oxygen Conservation—are acquiring … Continue reading The Carbon Credit Con and Scotland’s New Mega-Lairds
BY PETER BROOK More than just a cooker, our Aga—known in the family as ‘Aggie’—is a cast-iron monument to the reliable comforts of home. It is the 90-year-old engine room of our kitchen, and the undisputed heavyweight champion of multi-tasking, often combining cooking with warming up young, wet lambs; drying anything from washing to damp hounds; keeping those same hounds warm and cosy at night; … Continue reading The Aga Can
BY BERT BURNETT The headlines are back, and so are the outstretched hands. Another rewilding charity, Trees for Life, has launched a campaign for £3.6 million of public and donor money to finance what can only be described as a series of vanity projects disguised as conservation. Their so-called ‘Missing Species Programme’ promises to restore lynx, beavers, red squirrels, and aurochs to the Scottish Highlands, … Continue reading The Great Rewilding Fraud – A Vanity Project Funded by You
BY ED ANDERSON Fiesta de la Transhumancia Madrid brings the countryside to the city One month ago, Madrid got to witness one of its most bizarre but beloved spectacles as hundreds of sheep and goats hurled themselves throughout the city to finish their long voyage of from the hinterlands of Spain to the heart of Madrid at Plaza Cibeles. There was something quite surreal about … Continue reading Fiesta de la Transhumancia
BY GARY BAXTER Right. Let’s talk about the great Highland heist. No, not the one with balaclavas and getaway cars – the one being carried out in broad daylight, dressed in the respectable suits of ‘investment managers’, ‘supply chain logistics’, and even the righteous robes of certain fucking charities. First up, we have the latest installment from our friends in the salmon farming industry, Bakkafrost … Continue reading Notes from the Actual Countryside
BY PETER BROOK A forgotten fruit of the country-house kitchen There are few fruits so old-fashioned, and so richly evocative of the English winter, as the medlar. Once found in every English rectory orchard and manor garden, its curious brown fruit was prized long after apples and pears had disappeared from the shelves. Today, the medlar is enjoying a quiet revival — a reward for … Continue reading The Medlar’s Reward
BY JAMIE FOSTER David Rivière’s “Dew Ponds” is an absolute gem of a book, a beautifully crafted exploration that transforms a seemingly simple feature of the landscape into a subject of wonder, history, and artistry. From the moment you pick up this compact yet richly detailed volume, it’s clear that this is a labour of love, offering a perfect blend of meticulous research and visual … Continue reading Dew Ponds
BY LIZ SMITH Let me be frank, Townies. I was one of you. For decades, I inhabited a world of comforting, soulless predictability. My existence was a symphony of beige: beige flats, beige meals from chain stores, beige conversations about the latest streaming service. My most significant interaction with nature was bravely rescuing a spider from the bath with a wine glass and a stiff … Continue reading In Praise of Mud
BY GARY BAXTER So, Dear Readers of Country Squire Magazine, it’s Sunday morning and I’m mucking about on the internet. I’ve just found out that some so-called “wildlife saviours” have decided they want to raise £25,000 fucking pounds to save curlews in just 6 FUCKING DAYS! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THESE CLOWNS FUCKING ABOUT WITH THINGS THEY KNOW NEXT TO NOTHING ABOUT! It’s nothing more than a massive, bloody … Continue reading Notes from the Actual Countryside
BY GARY BAXTER Right. The Scotch has been poured, the blood pressure is merely simmering instead of boiling over, so let’s have a look at what other masterstrokes of genius are being cooked up by the clipboard-wielding classes this week. You’d think they’d run out of ways to complicate the simple art of land management, but their capacity for nonsense is apparently limitless. First up, … Continue reading Notes from the Actual Countryside
BY VICTORIA MARSDEN A Vindictive Little World of Her Own Dr. Kleb has a theory, and it’s a simple one: if a bird dies, it must be murder. Natural causes? A tragic case of a raptor forgetting how to fly? A simple misunderstanding with a particularly assertive squirrel? Don’t be naïve. In Dr. Kleb’s world, every missing feather is a clue, every moor is a crime scene, … Continue reading Kleb
BY SIMON MACFAUL It’s a story that perfectly captures the cognitive dissonance at the heart of modern Scottish conservation. Across Europe, from the sun-drenched forests of Spain to the scrublands of Portugal, a quiet, antlered revolution is underway. Conservationists are strategically releasing herds of deer into vulnerable landscapes. Why? Because these animals, through their careful browsing, naturally reduce the dense, dry undergrowth that acts as … Continue reading The Scottish Paradox: Vermin Here, Vanguards There
BY BERT BURNETT Why ‘Official’ Conservation Fears Success In the rolling hills and managed woodlands of Britain, a quiet war is being waged for the future of our native species. On one side are the gamekeepers and land managers, whose hands-on stewardship has preserved the very landscapes we hold dear. On the other, a powerful coalition of once well-funded conservation charities who, from their air-conditioned … Continue reading The Captive Release Blockade
BY DOMINIC WIGHTMAN It is one of those unremarked truths, visible to anyone who troubles to look, that the character of a nation can be deduced from the state of its boundaries. I found this thought pressing upon me the other afternoon, halted by the spectacle of a common hedge sparrow at work. The scene was a Devon lane, bordered by a hedgerow of the … Continue reading On the Wisdom of Hedgerows
BY BERT BURNETT Let’s cut through the polite CNPA press release below and get to the real agenda here. This so-called “investigation” into gamebird releases isn’t about balance; it’s the opening salvo in a campaign built on a foundation of sand, and the first clue is right there in their own words: ‘non-native’. This term is nothing but a political cudgel. When the establishment wants … Continue reading The ‘Non-Native’ Trojan Horse
BY GARY BAXTER As I sit here watching another bloody red kite circle over what’s left of the local songbirds, I decide to have a look at what fresh hell the pen-pushers in their air-conditioned offices have dreamt up for us this week. And Christ on a bike, it doesn’t take long to find it. Everywhere you look, it’s another scheme conjured by some millennial … Continue reading Notes from the Actual Countryside
BY DONNA RACHEL EDMUNDS I felt a flutter of nerves as I hopped off the mounting block and swung my leg over bright bay quarters. 16’2” is a long way up, especially above the cobbles of a country house stable yard, and it had been a good decade since I’d last gathered up reins, tightened a girth, and given a squeeze to set off. But … Continue reading Grooming Gang Survivors Need the Healing Power of the Countryside
BY BERT BURNETT A new report covered by the BBC projects Scotland’s wild boar population will rise by over 60% in fifty years, from a precise 1,472 to about 2,400. This startlingly specific number—1,472—raises an obvious question: how can anyone count these elusive, nocturnal animals so exactly? The answer is that it’s not a direct headcount. The figure is a scientific estimate derived from a population model. … Continue reading 1472 Wild Boar? How?
BY BERT BURNETT How much longer does the British Countryside have to put up with propaganda attacks from liars? It’s bad enough having weekly potshots from outliers like Chris Packham and George Monbiot. Now, having their former paymaster the BBC supporting the outlandish instead of checking facts, makes rural licence fee payers furious. Take a recent BBC Wildlife opinion piece by Mark Carwardine which paints … Continue reading Moor Misrepresentation
