BY LIZ SMITH Let me be frank, Townies. I was one of you. For decades, I inhabited a world of comforting, soulless predictability. My existence was a symphony of beige: beige flats, beige meals from chain stores, beige conversations about the latest streaming service. My most significant interaction with nature was bravely rescuing a spider from the bath with a wine glass and a stiff … Continue reading In Praise of Mud
BY GARY BAXTER So, Dear Readers of Country Squire Magazine, it’s Sunday morning and I’m mucking about on the internet. I’ve just found out that some so-called “wildlife saviours” have decided they want to raise £25,000 fucking pounds to save curlews in just 6 FUCKING DAYS! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THESE CLOWNS FUCKING ABOUT WITH THINGS THEY KNOW NEXT TO NOTHING ABOUT! It’s nothing more than a massive, bloody … Continue reading Notes from the Actual Countryside
BY GARY BAXTER Right. The Scotch has been poured, the blood pressure is merely simmering instead of boiling over, so let’s have a look at what other masterstrokes of genius are being cooked up by the clipboard-wielding classes this week. You’d think they’d run out of ways to complicate the simple art of land management, but their capacity for nonsense is apparently limitless. First up, … Continue reading Notes from the Actual Countryside
BY VICTORIA MARSDEN A Vindictive Little World of Her Own Dr. Kleb has a theory, and it’s a simple one: if a bird dies, it must be murder. Natural causes? A tragic case of a raptor forgetting how to fly? A simple misunderstanding with a particularly assertive squirrel? Don’t be naïve. In Dr. Kleb’s world, every missing feather is a clue, every moor is a crime scene, … Continue reading Kleb
BY SIMON MACFAUL It’s a story that perfectly captures the cognitive dissonance at the heart of modern Scottish conservation. Across Europe, from the sun-drenched forests of Spain to the scrublands of Portugal, a quiet, antlered revolution is underway. Conservationists are strategically releasing herds of deer into vulnerable landscapes. Why? Because these animals, through their careful browsing, naturally reduce the dense, dry undergrowth that acts as … Continue reading The Scottish Paradox: Vermin Here, Vanguards There
BY BERT BURNETT Why ‘Official’ Conservation Fears Success In the rolling hills and managed woodlands of Britain, a quiet war is being waged for the future of our native species. On one side are the gamekeepers and land managers, whose hands-on stewardship has preserved the very landscapes we hold dear. On the other, a powerful coalition of once well-funded conservation charities who, from their air-conditioned … Continue reading The Captive Release Blockade
BY DOMINIC WIGHTMAN It is one of those unremarked truths, visible to anyone who troubles to look, that the character of a nation can be deduced from the state of its boundaries. I found this thought pressing upon me the other afternoon, halted by the spectacle of a common hedge sparrow at work. The scene was a Devon lane, bordered by a hedgerow of the … Continue reading On the Wisdom of Hedgerows
BY BERT BURNETT Let’s cut through the polite CNPA press release below and get to the real agenda here. This so-called “investigation” into gamebird releases isn’t about balance; it’s the opening salvo in a campaign built on a foundation of sand, and the first clue is right there in their own words: ‘non-native’. This term is nothing but a political cudgel. When the establishment wants … Continue reading The ‘Non-Native’ Trojan Horse
BY GARY BAXTER As I sit here watching another bloody red kite circle over what’s left of the local songbirds, I decide to have a look at what fresh hell the pen-pushers in their air-conditioned offices have dreamt up for us this week. And Christ on a bike, it doesn’t take long to find it. Everywhere you look, it’s another scheme conjured by some millennial … Continue reading Notes from the Actual Countryside
BY DONNA RACHEL EDMUNDS I felt a flutter of nerves as I hopped off the mounting block and swung my leg over bright bay quarters. 16’2” is a long way up, especially above the cobbles of a country house stable yard, and it had been a good decade since I’d last gathered up reins, tightened a girth, and given a squeeze to set off. But … Continue reading Grooming Gang Survivors Need the Healing Power of the Countryside
BY BERT BURNETT A new report covered by the BBC projects Scotland’s wild boar population will rise by over 60% in fifty years, from a precise 1,472 to about 2,400. This startlingly specific number—1,472—raises an obvious question: how can anyone count these elusive, nocturnal animals so exactly? The answer is that it’s not a direct headcount. The figure is a scientific estimate derived from a population model. … Continue reading 1472 Wild Boar? How?
BY BERT BURNETT How much longer does the British Countryside have to put up with propaganda attacks from liars? It’s bad enough having weekly potshots from outliers like Chris Packham and George Monbiot. Now, having their former paymaster the BBC supporting the outlandish instead of checking facts, makes rural licence fee payers furious. Take a recent BBC Wildlife opinion piece by Mark Carwardine which paints … Continue reading Moor Misrepresentation
BY CALUM CAMPBELL The recent wildfires in Moray have left a trail of destruction, with stories circulating and facts still emerging. What’s clear is that lessons must be learned—and acted upon—to better handle such disasters in the future. While many are more qualified to speak on this, here are my thoughts. How the Fires Started The Coastguard, during an exercise near Carrbridge, fired a flare … Continue reading Wildfires in Moray: Lessons Learnt?
BY ALEXIA JAMES Oh, what a glorious day for rural Britain! A few days ago, in the hallowed halls of Westminster, the campaign to ban driven grouse shooting was left in tatters—and we can’t help but spare a thought for poor Chris Packham (who showed up looking like a darts player) and his sidekick the propagandist Ruth Tingay who must have found the whole affair … Continue reading Grouse Shooting Triumphs as Packham’s Extremist Campaign Crumbles
BY DOMINIC WIGHTMAN A Nocturnal Rebellion Against the Modern Age There’s something wonderfully freeing about standing in an English field in June, long after the last cuckoo has cried itself hoarse and the swifts have turned in for the night, staring up at the heavens like some latter-day druid. The modern Briton, of course, wouldn’t know a star if it fell on his head – … Continue reading Stargazing in June
BY BEN O’ROURKE The fuses have been lit. Does Bruce Willis still have time to save the countryside? There’s a popular trope in films where authorities are convinced of one thing and people in the know telling them they’re wrong get ignored. A good example is Die Hard. In the 1988 blockbuster, terrorists take over a building in Los Angeles and their leader, Alan Rickman, … Continue reading Shamefully Burning Taxpayers’ Cash
BY ALEXIA JAMES It is well worth remembering why the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB) was originally set up and by whom: Founded in 1889, the RSPB was incorporated by Royal Charter. Originally granted by King Edward VII in November 1904, the Royal Charter is the legal instrument constituting the RSPB and giving it legal status. Since then, the Charter and Statutes have been … Continue reading The RSPB’s Tragic Decline
Preserving a legacy: Highland & Hill ponies take centre stage at the Scottish Game Fair Highland ponies, native to Scotland and on the Rare Breeds Survival Trust’s vulnerable list, are going to be showcasing their hardiness and strength at this year’s Game & Wildlife Conservation Trust Scottish Game Fair. As the largest mountain and moorland pony breed in Scotland, these animals are uniquely suited to … Continue reading Scottish Game Fair Hill Ponies
BY DOMINIC WIGHTMAN The Great British Countryside does not argue much. It does not need to. It simply is—a rich, unbroken testament to the quiet, immutable truths that modern man, in his restless arrogance, has forgotten. To stand in the honeyed light of a West Country evening, where the shadows of ancient oaks stretch like the fingers of time, is to understand that conservatism is … Continue reading Granite, Truth and Resurrection
BY BERT BURNETT Once again, we’re being fed the tired old narrative that climate change is solely to blame for the recent wildfires tearing through Scotland’s countryside. Lorna Slater and her ilk would have us believe that until recently, Scotland was a perpetually soggy paradise where the sun never shone and wildfires were unheard of. The reality, of course, is very different. Scotland has always … Continue reading Wildfires in Scotland: The Real Culprit Isn’t Climate Change
