BY ALEXIA JAMES

Oh, what a glorious day for rural Britain! A few days ago, in the hallowed halls of Westminster, the campaign to ban driven grouse shooting was left in tatters—and we can’t help but spare a thought for poor Chris Packham (who showed up looking like a darts player) and his sidekick the propagandist Ruth Tingay who must have found the whole affair utterly excruciating. There they sat alongside the tank-chasers Leigh Day looking like a right bunch of numpties.

For once, the eco-chugger wasn’t given a platform to dominate with his usual torrent of hyperbolic rhetoric. No, this time, he had to sit there, silently fuming, as MPs from across the political spectrum—Tory, Labour, and Lib Dem alike—lined up to demolish his anti-shooting crusade of lies with facts, passion, and a hefty dose of common sense.

Packham’s Painful Silence

Normally, Packham thrives in the echo chambers of sympathetic media interviews (The Mirror), where his extremist views go unchallenged. But yesterday, reality bit—hard. Just hours before the debate, he’d taken to X (formerly Twitter) with a giddy little clip, practically salivating at the thought of a Labour government bending to his will. How delicious, then, to watch his smirk evaporate as the debate unfolded and not a single MP rallied to his cause with any real conviction.

One can only imagine the internal meltdown as former Prime Minister Rishi Sunak (Conservative, Richmond and Northallerton) delivered a masterclass in why grouse shooting is not just a rural tradition but a “world-leading conservation success story.” Sunak, backed up by his neighbouring MP Kevin Hollinrake, Thirsk) pointed out the obvious: banning it would be economic and ecological madness, leaving landscapes barren, families poorer, and wildlife at greater risk.

Labour’s Sam Rushworth (Bishop Auckland) then rubbed salt in the wound, recounting his recent visit to a Let’s Learn Moor event where schoolchildren marvelled at the thriving biodiversity sustained by moorland management. He even revealed that firefighters rely on gamekeepers as first responders to moorland fires—because, shockingly, the people who actually work the land know how to protect it better than keyboard warriors in London ever could.

The Final Nail in the Coffin

By the time Defra Minister Daniel Zeichner wrapped things up by confirming the government has no intention of banning driven grouse shooting, Packham’s dream had well and truly gone up in smoke—much like the carefully controlled heather burns that keep our moors healthy.

Christopher Graffius of BASC put it perfectly: “The debate exposed the weakness of the extremists’ case.” Indeed, the anti-shooting brigade could barely muster a single coherent speaker, while rural MPs delivered knockout blow after knockout blow.

A Lesson for Packham?

Unlikely. The sociopath who once spewed incendiary rhetoric about badger culls and vilified gamekeepers is not one for humility. But for the rest of us, this debate was a timely reminder: the countryside doesn’t need saving from the people who live and work in it.

So here’s to grouse shooting—a practice that sustains jobs, schools, and wildlife, all at no cost to the taxpayer. And here’s to the satisfying spectacle of a lying metropolitan activist being forced to sit quietly while rural Britain’s voice rang loud and clear.

Reality bites eventually, doesn’t it, Chris?

Have the summer you deserve, you fraud.