BY BEN PENSANT Nothing upsets the modern left like murderers dying. And the last decade saw so many left-centric killers cark it that barely a month went by when St Jezza wasn’t summoned to impartially observe someone else laying a wreath for a misunderstood Jew-slayer he’d never heard of. Indeed, ever since affable fascists Kernel Gaddafi and Osama Ben Laden were unlawfully executed in 2010, … Continue reading The Left Loves Murderers
BY BEN PENSANT Nazis come in all shapes and sizes: Nazi Tories, Nazi Republicans, Nazi Blairites, Nazi Gays, Nazi Blacks, Nazi Muslims. Hell, you even get Nazi Jews these days, though they tend to just call themselves ‘Jews’. Like most Nazis, they’re all united by a hatred of progressivism, a desire to murder leftists, and the fact that none of them are actually Nazis. But the … Continue reading Mask of Sorrow
BY BEN PENSANT Lord Corbyn may have been perfect in every way but ultimately he was just too nice. And there’s no better example of this too-niceness than his attempts to appeal to normal people instead of targeting lunatics. It pains me to say it, but as thrilling as it was abusing people on the internet for four years, I now realise that instead of … Continue reading Where We Leftists Went Wrong
BY BEN PENSANT Marvin Scorsese has made a fortune out of offending people. For fifty years he’s terrorised audiences with his abhorrent blend of racist sloganeering and blood-splattered exploitation, safe in the knowledge that his status as white Hollywood royalty insulates him from the consequences of his crimes. From The Godfather to The Wolf Of Wallsend, Scorsese’s films are crude celebrations of toxic masculinity, with … Continue reading The Irishmen
BY BEN PENSANT Society is damaged by the insidious trend for fake people. Take Titania MacGrath, the pretend-leftist who melted fascist hearts with her recently published manifesto, Woke: A Guide To Crypto Fascism, the most offensively unfunny book I’ve never read and have no intention of reading. In fact, it was so dreadful I might not read it again just in case I missed something … Continue reading Titania
BY BEN PENSANT Little good has come from the twin horrors of Brexit and Trump, unleashed three years ago to strike fear and loathing into the hearts of celebrity QCs, milquetoast columnists, and shit-for-brains actors everywhere. Sure, leaving the EU has emboldened decent liberals who spent years fighting hatred and bigotry, gifting them a free pass to be hateful and bigoted towards 17 million people … Continue reading The Fall of Roger Crouton
BY BEN PENSANT Fighting fascism isn’t for everyone. The hours are shitty, the pay is non-existent, and few of us possess the mental strength to spend every waking hour staring at a phone, calling strangers Nazis, and utterly destroying the Tories by re-tweeting edgy memes of Theresa May scratching her arse. And with Sunday’s fresh set of right-wing press smears followed by the Jewish Lickspittle Movement’s vote of … Continue reading Far Right Facade
BY BEN PENSANT There isn’t much we can predict with absolute certainty in 2019. In the old days, if your best mate told you his new girlfriend was a Tory you could deduce with confidence that she’d be white and wealthy with a penchant for throwing stones at disableds. But the modern world is so arse-about-face, the dumb public so susceptible to fascist gaslighting, that even … Continue reading Sunshine On Keith
BY BEN PENSANT I was delighted to read about the Women’s Respite Centre of East Minnesota University and their brave decision to no longer host productions of Eve Angel’s The Vagina Chronicles, the crudely offensive play that has been inciting violence and delighting self-hating menstruaters for 34 years. Their ballsy statement was issued following a survey of students and a workshop entitled ‘Not All Women … Continue reading Ban Them!
BY BEN PENSANT Despite appearances to the contrary, television drama is the last place you’d look to find turbo-wokeness. Sure, the BBC tries, but even their best efforts are hamstrung by the same deference to the alt-right that sours their news coverage, with its refusal to report that the Leave campaign still aren’t being investigated by the police, and its habit of airbrushing photos of … Continue reading I Want My ITV
BY BEN PENSANT I was delighted to learn of the new twists taken in the heart-warming story of Swedish airplane hero Ellen Eriksson If you’re anything like me you’ll have marvelled at courageous Ellen’s refusal to sit down on a plane until an Afghan asylum seeker facing deportation was removed. And you were probably also horrified by the alt-right bigots who immediately piped up with … Continue reading Ah Sweden!
BY BEN PENSANT A rotten freakshow rocked up in my hometown of Newcastle the other week, striking fear into the hearts of frigid Gender Studies professors everywhere. Friends Fest came to town. Or rather, ‘Fascist Fest’. For the uninitiated, Friends was a white supremacist ‘sitcom’ that debuted on Channel 5 in 1992, turning a generation of vulnerable youngsters into racist, fat-shaming, transphobic, misogynists. I was 14 when it first … Continue reading Beware Friends Fest
BY BEN PENSANT Pop Quiz: Who harassed a marginalised WOC (Woman of Colour) for supporting someone who believes Jews want to turn black men gay? Who smeared PM Corbyn as an anti-Semite just because he was a member of an anti-Semitic Facebook group? Who accused the Dear Leader of being a Putin stooge before sneakily making him appear more Russian by digitally altering his iconic … Continue reading Ziodegradable
BY BEN PENSANT Well, I finally did it. After respectfully waiting a fortnight to give the ethnic community of Newcastle the best chance of seeing their lives on-screen for the first time, yesterday I dug out my Cameo t-shirt, stole a tenner from my grandma’s purse, and ventured to the nearest multiplex to see the most important movie ever made. Sadly, the only screening of Dreamworks’ Latino-centric Cocoa clashed with Judge Rinder so instead I opted for the most micro-unaggressive … Continue reading White Man Views Black Panther
BY BEN PENSANT It’s easy to grow despondent with the standard of post-referendum political debate. For every AC Grayling who argues his pro-EU point with grace, humour and hysterical contempt for people he disagrees with, there’s a Julia Hartley-Brexiter spouting xenophobic bile with little regard for the middle-class Guardian-readers offended by her existence. Thankfully, when it comes to reasoned discourse, The New European has been … Continue reading Lucky Uganda