Schengenfreude

BY BEN PENSANT

As cruel as it is to laugh at the misfortune of others, it’s bloody hard not to when the ‘others’ are Leave-voters, currently locked in a three-way tie with Zionists and Blairites for the title of Most Loathsome Creatures on Earth.

So, I’m sure I wasn’t the only die-hard Remainer whooping with joy last week when Brexiters were left bruised, shaken and terrified to their bigoted cores by an incendiary tweet from a woman off the telly they’d never heard of. That woman was Oxford-educated TV star Emma Kennedy; the tweet a brutal, perfectly formed zinger so brutal and perfectly formed I went straight to Google to find out who she was. I’m still none the wiser though the internet assures me she was the 18th most memorable talking head on Channel 5’s recent hit The Top Fifty Cheapest Clips From ’80s Blockbusters and quietly stole the show in their gritty drama Suburban Shootout 2: Clackers At Dawn.

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But those career-highs are nothing compared to the accolades she received for a tweet which spoke for everyone who values liberal principles like tolerance, empathy and looking down their noses at people who disagree with them. Here then is the full tweet, though I must warn any passing Brexiters that you may well be reaching for a razor blade before you get to the end.

Brace yourselves:

‘It’s getting to the point where I’m not sure I’m ever going to be able to forgive anyone who voted for Brexit’.

Ouch. Dunno about you but once I’d finished laughing my head off I poured a mung-bean smoothie and retired to the bath for a beautiful bout of bliss I’ve not enjoyed since Lord Jezza nervously shook my hand in his back garden at 3am. (I still haven’t washed it, sir. I never will xxx.)

I must say that despite my natural hatred for shell suit-clad racists who vote differently to me, I couldn’t help feeling a pang of pity. Not enough to sympathise with them. And certainly not enough to forget the pain their ill-informed vote caused sandal-wearing BBC executives with precocious, gender-neutral children. But just enough to understand the torture they must be going through having discovered they will never ever be forgiven by a woman they don’t know from…

Oh, who am I kidding? Sympathy? Understanding? No chance. Just look at what they’ve done to Emma. You think she wants to go through life resenting millions of people she doesn’t know? She’s a liberal, for god’s sake. But as she says, it’s ‘getting to that point’ where Brexiters are forcing people like Emma to hate them with their Little Englander antics.

Because as we know, in the entitled world of the staunch Remainer, nothing is ever their fault. None of their illiberal traits are their own doing. Things happen to them, not because of them. And much like jihadists are driven to plant bombs on trains as a direct result of Western foreign policy, so principled progressives have been provoked by the inherent nastiness of Brexit into being massively intolerant towards people they disagree with.

And judging by the shock-waves her comments sent though social media, they don’t take rejection well. Unsurprisingly, not one of the selfish oafs even had the decency to start a support group for Brexiters traumatised by Emma’s remarks. Typical. For all their talk of ‘taking back control’ and ‘Britain’s best interests’ they can’t even look after each other.

As wild-haired EU groupie AC Grayling has repeatedly pointed out: ‘The mood of the country is Remain’. Though one can’t help wishing the country had mentioned that on June 23rd last year. It would have saved a shit-load of bother.

And there’s never been a better time for AC, Emma et al to put the fools who destroyed our country in their place, with Jean Claude Van Juncker this week unveiling exciting new plans for the future of the EU. Plans Britain will not be part of unless we bend the knee, ignore the referendum result and re-join Juncker’s nascent superstate immediately.

As Emma would no doubt agree, anything less really would be unforgivable.

 

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