Welcome, Boris


There are certain sources across the British media and political class which are always wrong. To interpret these sources correctly one must forget the saying that even a stopped clock is right twice a day. It so happens that these sources are useful contraries to truth – if they say one thing then you know that the polar opposite is in accordance with fact or reality.

These sources offer up an amusing game of opposites – the game you likely played as a young child before your frontal lobe developed. Most adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s rational part (more than 52% do so in fact, although clearly not all the time). The rational part of a child’s brain isn’t fully developed and won’t be until age 25 or so. Perhaps these sources of perpetual incorrectness lack prefrontal cortex action – they could be prefrontal cortex virgins. Their existence adds to the rich tapestry of our democracy – the fact that some media outlets and political parties are prepared to give them a voice makes for more interesting paper reviews and Commons debates, which would otherwise be dull ditch-waters of accord, not dissimilar to debates in Pyongyang or Beijing.

You will know some of these sources – Lammy, Cadwalladr, Muir, Alibhai-Brown, Toynbee, Sturgeon, Dunt, Shah, Hirsch, Thornberry, Lucas, Burgon and Wishart to name some names.

Let us take the SNP shadow leader of the house Pete Wishart’s reaction to our new Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s raft of cabinet appointments:

“Worse than Thatcher”, reacted Wishart. (The cabinet is) “packed full of extreme Brexiteers and rabid right-wingers who want to drag us back to a bygone era. This is a Tory cabinet from hell, which Donald Trump or Nigel Farage would be proud of – with members that want to scrap the Barnett formula, privatise the NHS, roll-back workers’ rights, undo the welfare state, cut taxes for the rich, and even bring back the death penalty. Westminster is becoming more extreme and out of touch by the day, while Scotland is being ignored and our interests are being side-lined. It’s no wonder that support for independence is growing and a majority want a fresh referendum.”

Naz Shah MP – her of “those abused girls in Rotherham and elsewhere just need to shut their mouths” tweet-liking fame – stated, “fewer than 100,000 Tories have elected a bigoted, sexist and frankly a disastrous individual as Prime Minister. This appointment is neither reflective of modern Britain, nor democratically representative of our nation.”

Caroline Lucas of the Green Party: “He is uniquely ill-placed to be Prime Minister particularly in this time of division and danger.”

Welcome, Boris. You are already hovering over the target and your enemies are truly rattled.

“When a bunch of known corrupt people unite against one man and spare no effort to ridicule him, blackmail him and attempt to assassinate his character, blindly follow that one man”

Marcus Aurelius