BY GARY BAXTER
The Editor has asked me to tone down my language as he’s been getting complaints so I’ll try and be more fucking careful in future.
Just who the hell are these madmen who wish to release lynx into Northumberland and why? To what end? Are these people wanting them to help sort the deer population? Do you think they will be happy up there? I seriously doubt it. All will be well unless you’re a sheep farmer. Do these people have an inbuilt hatred of our nations’ agricultural industry? It certainly looks that way to me.
Talking of hatred, my current target is that poxy legion of airborne scumbags, the crows and gulls. Since lambing started I have heard some horror stories around us in deepest Northamptonshire of lambs being eaten alive by the black plague. What effects these bastard bloody birds have had or will have on our ground nesting birds this year god only knows as that useless bastard in his ivory tower at Natural England won’t give a bugger neither will the 3 waning/whining stooges, nor the RSPB.
I can honestly say I have not seen above 10 pairs of green plover ‘round here this spring. All I have seen are bloody rotten magpies and carrion crow topped off with a small helping of ravens and, in the village, hundreds of ruddy jackdaws. Our song bird population in the village is taking one hell of a hammering due to these bastard things and from the reports I am getting from friends around the country they are seeing a huge explosion in the numbers of ALL corvid species not only these predatory shite bags. DEFRA you have the power to stop this madness. In the eyes of us in the Countryside IT’S ABOUT TIME NATURAL ENGLAND WERE DECLARED NOT FIT FOR PURPOSE.
Also, we have an explosion of gull numbers marching over parts of this country killing all in their path. I also know that yet again there have been very few licences granted for gull control. WHY?
Now I hear and see that our cash-orientated friends at Sandy have somehow got more bloody funding for their stoat cull project in Orkney. This is the biggest bloody con game I have seen for a long time. Just how much more money is going to be poured into this BS? It seems never-ending. What’s the fiddle?? Now I see you have some loon wandering about with stuffed stoats. Wonders with you lot will never cease.
Now a few days ago a film popped up on social media of a very nice Eurasian Eagle Owl. The problem was that this bird was seen in the film to carry away Tibbles the cat ! Now some folks may shout that it never happened, it was all fake. Blah Blah. Well, I hate to shove a spanner in their works (sorry Ed) but in the wild these oversized lumps have been known to take anything from a mouse upwards to the size of small Roe deer. Even hedge pigs have been on the menu. Take a look on YouTube. Type in owls and cats. I happen to have been fortunate enough to fly a pair of these assassins in my life and by god you certainly have to have the patience of a sodding Saint something I am most definitely not famous for AFORE any f***** says owt !!
I have hunted these pair on most things and in that time have filled my freezer with Hares and believe it or not I don’t care I even had a few muntjac which went down rather well with a nice red!
But primarily my best sport with these has been Fox …I can hear the screams of ‘rubbish’ and many other words but you are talking about a bird that has incredible power in its feet and when it gets hold of whatever it wants they don’t like to give it up with average power of 400lb psi so it is very able to take Old Tibbles the moggy. Now just so you know and the idiots in the BTO this is a reminder these birds as a species have been in and out of the UK since the time of the stone age.
Now a question if you don’t mind to Mr Steve Backshall. You, good sir, are super human being. I don’t know how you did it but by god well done. HOW THE HELL you never smacked that greasy 2 faced f**** from Thames Water in the mouth I don’t know. I have watched that film several times and he couldn’t give you a straight answer if wanted to. He has blatantly lied to everyone in the catchment area and now wants a 56% raise in water rates!! I say this to you… I WOULD GIVE YOU F***ALL apart from a long prison sentence old son.
You have the balls to blame every other person for your own ignorance and expect them to just suck it up. You think you’re safe because Natural England won’t prosecute !! I say again if that lot who are after the Wye farmers for a little bit of poultry muck concentrated on you it might be of more use now. DEFRA I call on you to bring these verminous buggers to book let’s start with the most polluted bastards United Utilities and work your way down the list and when you get to Anglian Water I want to be there to witness you dragging the private equity bosses out by their *****.
Well done Steve. Stay on them. Don’t give up. The Countryside is right behind you, even if you’re off the steak and chips these days.
By the way has anyone seen “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named”? How come he isn’t camped outside their office steps?? After that Sunday Politics debacle maybe he’s being restrained by his handlers.
Tatty bye all.
I will be back soonish unless I overtake myself on a motorway somewhere which is quite likely as my gout is playing up something rotten and I have so much to be ANGRY about.
Gary Baxter is the son of a gamekeeper, is an ex gamekeeper and has run his own falconry based bird control business for the last 20 years.