VICAR Dear Readers of Country Squire Magazine, I trust that You and Your loved ones are well and healthy. I hope that You are looking forward to some kind of Christmas celebration, even if this year will be different from those You have known before. I was on a tinsel hunt yesterday and was pleased to see the shops in our local town busy with … Continue reading A Prayer for the Shopkeepers
BY EFFIE DEANS There are four European countries with populations of about five million: Denmark 5,799,640 757 Covid deaths Finland 5,545,596 369 Covid deaths Slovakia 5,462,617 510 Covid deaths Norway 5,436,637 294 Covid deaths Scotland 5,454,000 3280 Covid deaths Scotland is not listed as a European country, because it is not an independent sovereign nation state, but rather a region of the United Kingdom that happens to be called a country for historical reasons. However, … Continue reading Scotland’s Covid Disaster
BY JAMES MELVILLE Ever since the start of the Coronavirus crisis, the UK government has lurched from one shambolic mistake to another. Their entire approach appears to be based on hindsight rather than foresight. They wilfully attempted to ramp up fear levels by using doomsday scenario charts and applied flawed methodology to create a fanciful worst-case scenario that was presented as a real possibility – … Continue reading 8 Months of Blunders
BY DOMINIC WIGHTMAN There’s a homeless fellow some of the locals and I have been helping out during this year of lockdowns. He’s in his forties and inhabits a tent in some woodland not far from our village. The owner of the woods was happy for him to stay there as long as he didn’t set off any fires. The local homeless charities worked alongside … Continue reading Stig
CSM EDITORIAL It is becoming pretty clear that there is no way out of Covid except – with a sizeable slice of luck – via a mass vaccination campaign. Covid’s repeat doses of death are here with us for a long time until the disease either burns out or is disarmed. From a political standpoint, Covid is an absolute nightmare. The deaths, the numbers of … Continue reading The Way of the Tomato Frog
VICAR Dear Readers of Country Squire Magazine, I trust that my message this week finds You well and that Your family is likewise in good health. Be careful driving out there. There were plenty of branches down overnight. The slalom between puddles and branches, from our local town to the vicarage, in the early hours of this morning, was a tricky one. This week let … Continue reading Prayer for a President
CITY GRUMP “This was a golden age for snitchers. One offence in particular relied heavily on tip-offs from the public: listening to foreign radio broadcasts, particularly those of the BBC. Peter Holdenberg, a 64-year-old disabled bookseller, who lived in Essen, was accused by his neighbour Helen Stuffel of this offence, which carried a prison sentence of up to 18 months. She had listened at the … Continue reading Tories Turn Totalitarian
BY DOMINIC WIGHTMAN It is difficult to forget the face of Guy Goma who became a celebrity after he was mistaken for an internet expert and interviewed on BBC News. The unemployed computer technician had been at the BBC for a job interview and got more than he bargained for. A graduate from the Congo, Goma gained worldwide attention after a mix-up saw him interviewed … Continue reading Tory Guy
THE CITY GRUMP With apologies to Lewis Carroll. An adaptation of his classic tale to suit our times. The Cast: Alice –The City Grump The White Rabbit – The Sage Committee The Cheshire Cat – Professor Chris Whitty The Mad Hatter – Boris The March Hare – Dominic Cummings The Dormouse – The British Public in Lockdown and onwards The Queen – Professor Neil Ferguson … Continue reading Alice in Covid 19 Wonderland
BY PAUL NEWALL The reopening of pubs on Saturday put me in mind of a 4th of July from several years ago, when I hit the town with a guy I went to school with. I’d offered to take him out because he was what would be termed these days as an InCel (involuntary celibate). I thought I could help him with his confidence issues … Continue reading The Xi Virus
BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE Boredom. That’s the albatross around my neck. Whatever plans I had of sipping Chablis in the sunshine along with good company and stimulating conversation – lockdown measures permitting – my wretched liver had other ideas and protested with violent pangs. A nagging woman is one thing, but to have your own body disapprove of your lifestyle is quite another. How different life looks … Continue reading Wine, Wine Everywhere
BY ALEXIA JAMES The Lock-down has been a real test for relationships. Weeks on end stuck in the same few rooms has been too much for some and yet other relationships which were getting stale have re-found their spark and are now flourishing. Close confinement and financial strife are cited as the key reasons behind the spike in divorce inquiries which Co-op Legal Services reported … Continue reading Lockdown’s Strained Marriages
BY EFFIE DEANS Scotland entered lockdown at exactly the same time as the other parts of Britain. We did so because we were following the advice that had been given to the British Government by the SAGE committee of scientific experts. Boris Johnson announced a very cautious easing of this lockdown some time ago, but Nicola Sturgeon decided that nothing would change in Scotland. Why? … Continue reading Jockdown
BY AMELIA CROSBY It feels like forever since lock-down started and as with any turbulent or stressful moment that comes into our lives, everyone reacts differently. Analysis from King’s College London has revealed that our individual responses to the Covid-19 lock-down can be sorted into three distinct groups: the accepting, the suffering, and the resisting. The analysis based on an Ipsos MORI survey conducted in … Continue reading Which Lockdown Personality Are You?
BY ALEXIA JAMES It must be said that mainstream media has become extraordinarily unalluring during this pandemic. People are learning to live without. On a Zoom business call just yesterday one of those present asked if anyone had seen Boris’ latest Coronavirus press conference and four out of six on the video call admitted they had not bothered tuning into even one. Meanwhile the newspapers … Continue reading Covidian Nonexistence
