BY BEN PENSANT There are many things to admire about pint-sized Eco-warrior Greta Funbag, such as her courage, intellect, shiny locks, and cute-as-a-button nose. She has a finger-wagging demeanour which is beautifully complimented by a cold stare so piercing it could make an organic onion cry. However, Greta’s two most impressive features have little to do with pigtails or principles. In fact they have little … Continue reading Greta
BY BEN PENSANT Last week the alt-right pulled off their most brazen trick yet, in an act of theft so cheeky it makes the 1958 Israeli land grab look like that episode of Home and Away when Todd pinched Jim’s sandwiches. Because when lefty comic and former mental patient Joe Brand cracked that hilarious gag on Radio 5 about throwing battery acid at politicians, Tory … Continue reading Right Becomes Left
BY BEN PENSANT Dear Graham, Oh dear, Graham. What the hell happened? As Samuel L. Fishbone said to Al Pacino in Jackie Burns before shooting him in the chest: “You used to be beautiful…”. And I don’t just mean beautiful, like Noam Chomsky in a tutu kicking a Zionist’s shin. I mean really beautiful, like an ethically sourced whale-spunk omelette washed down with a shot … Continue reading An Open Letter to Glinner
BY BEN PENSANT I was delighted to learn of the new twists taken in the heart-warming story of Swedish airplane hero Ellen Eriksson If you’re anything like me you’ll have marvelled at courageous Ellen’s refusal to sit down on a plane until an Afghan asylum seeker facing deportation was removed. And you were probably also horrified by the alt-right bigots who immediately piped up with … Continue reading Ah Sweden!
BY BEN PENSANT It is just unfair that anyone other than us Leftists can use social media to stop funding hate. I am referring to the recent case of James Gunn and other cases that the right have won against us using OUR social media. Sadly, mere weeks after Hollywood bosses correctly removed Scarlett Johannesburg from a transgender gangster biopic because she’s never possessed a … Continue reading Stop Harassing Us Lefties
BY BEN PENSANT Three weeks ago Theresa May visited Newcastle. Yes, really. Not content with squatting in PM Jezza’s house for the past twelve months she also craps all over his proud history by delivering a sermon to the proles from the same venue that hosted one of his greatest triumphs. Indeed, the assorted resting actors, non-binary creatives and unemployed craft beer entrepreneurs who witnessed Jezza’s … Continue reading May Oop North
BY BEN PENSANT As a died-in-the-wool regressive it’s not often I have anything good to say about the filth. When they’re not harassing the black community or choking drug-dealers to death, they’re pepper-spraying peaceful protesters. To be frank, until recently I was quite content for PM Corbyn to abolish the police altogether and introduce voluntary ‘community peacekeepers’, an idea floated by socialist demigod Dan Arel, … Continue reading Peeping Social Media Police
BY BEN PENSANT Dear ladies. Dear, dear ladies, Your lot has suddenly become really difficult, especially those of you lucky enough to have crawled out from under the weight of Turkey Twizzlers to find gainful employment looking pretty and flashing your tits. I’ve no doubt you watched in dismay as your jobs vanished overnight, bringing joy to middle-class feminists who spend their lives railing against … Continue reading Dear Working Class Women
BY BEN PENSANT From inventing a racism epidemic by pretending hate crime reports are the same as convictions to demanding heads roll because a researcher claims an MP once leered at her while she ate a Pepperami, modern progressives love nothing more than taking a huge dump on due process. Luckily, while our legal system stubbornly refuses to imprison people just because Twitter tells them … Continue reading Woody Allen – Guilty!
BY BEN PENSANT ‘I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character’ Martin Luther King, August 28, 1963. As any proponent of identity politics and cultural Marxism knows all too well, the above quote is a load of shit. Dreams are dangerous. Since joining the … Continue reading Some Of My Best Friends Aren’t Black
BY BEN PENSANT Unless you’ve been asleep for the last month you can’t fail to have noticed Stop Funding Hate breaking the internet after self-righteously hounding Paperchase and Pizza Hut for doing promotions with newspapers they don’t like. As a result, they’ve been recruiting new supporters daily, some of whom have even read up on the campaign, and SFH’s stated aim of political censorship-via-corporate blackmail. … Continue reading Society of the Perpetually Offended
BY BEN PENSANT Is there anything the far left love more than doctoring history? From the holocaust and The Great Purge to 9/11 and the 2017 general election, give us a documented event that messes with our narrative and we’ll move hell or high water to pretend it didn’t happen that way. And if hell or high water refuse to budge we’ll take a metal pole to them until they darn well do. But brave US leftists have recently taken this one step … Continue reading Tear the Statues Down!