Pity the Life of Grey

BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE Watching other people walk on grass whilst they themselves are stuck with concrete and tarmac has aroused an envy in Britain’s urbanites. Lock-downed townies have convinced themselves that it is the life of concrete and tarmac that we should pity. Those living under the hypnosis of concrete melancholy – for whom Nature must seem a distant stranger and urban sprawl a relentless … Continue reading Pity the Life of Grey

Hush, Cretins

BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE COVID-19 has revealed the tragic futility of contemporary politics. Spirited efforts by sections of the Left to undermine each and every government response to the virus wearies even those who would ordinarily take an interest in Westminster proceedings. How is Parliament to be taken seriously if £330 billion of spending is to be criticised by the opposition as ‘not going far enough’? … Continue reading Hush, Cretins

Repurposing the Licence Fee

BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE Last month, Britain’s broadcast media subjected the nation to a series of bombshell revelations from which it may never recover. First came the news that Philip Schofield isn’t the red-blooded womaniser his tousled hair and flowered shirts would have us believe. Then the BBC’s Head of Drama, Piers Wenger (pictured), revealed that far from some happy coincidence, it is actual BBC policy … Continue reading Repurposing the Licence Fee

Libraries’ Descent to Marxism

BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE Sad to say that during my school years I never did have the chance to read 1984, nor its sister novel Animal Farm. My teacher opting instead to impose the illiterate, misandrist filth that is ‘The Colour Purple’ upon our impressionable eyes and tender ears – well, I say impressionable, there was a video circulating amongst the boys at that time of … Continue reading Libraries’ Descent to Marxism

Let’s Groom the Young

BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE Every time the identity-obsessed and self-loathing views of our cultural betters at the BBC are proven not to be as well-shared as they thought – especially by the proletarians of the provinces – one imagines that a meeting takes place with the same denial and ostrichism displayed by Hitler in the film Downfall. Perhaps it goes down something like this… Deep in … Continue reading Let’s Groom the Young

UK Antisemitism Still Ubiquitous

BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE Far from ‘never again’, seventy years on from the Holocaust, a repeat of its horrors seems all too conceivable. Although Britain has pushed what is now one of Europe’s most racist and antisemitic parties into near insignificance, the question remains: for how many was opposing antisemitism a motivating factor? As its scars fade into the dermis of history, the fear is, so … Continue reading UK Antisemitism Still Ubiquitous

Forbidden Religiosity

BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE With the Pope having signed the ‘Sino-Vatican Agreement’ (a treaty which allows the Vatican to appoint Chinese bishops) one could be forgiven for thinking that Christians in Communist China enjoy a kind of freedom only described in the pluralistic Utopian visions of  ‘literal consumerists’ – sorry, communists – like the ridiculous Ash Sarkar. But as with any China counterfeit, this holy bound … Continue reading Forbidden Religiosity

Farmers, New Enemy of Loons

BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE How can one reconcile the two seemingly opposing ideologies of deindustrialisation and a want for endless housing? The answer: when the former is merely a means to bring about the latter. It’s no secret that climate change activism often acts as a front for hard-line socialism; indeed, the Extinction Rebellion protests held in London were marred by blood red demands to ‘bring … Continue reading Farmers, New Enemy of Loons

Owen Jones-Corbyn

BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE I thought it rather fitting that the charity ‘Period Power’ chose that boy with the curious habit of making frenzied fisting gesticulations to be their patron. Fitting because my thoughts on Owen Jones could be condensed into that four letter word which so eloquently describes the private parts of a woman. But I’m afraid that today, calling him that simply won’t do; … Continue reading Owen Jones-Corbyn

Up Yours Townies

BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE Did Thursday’s vote truly mark a seismic shift in British politics or merely reflect one that had occurred long ago? For now we bask in the spoils of victory, most prized amongst them being the look on Rumplecuckskin, John Bercow, as it dawned on him that his dream of a second referendum would remain forever thus. Oh to see hopelessness so visceral … Continue reading Up Yours Townies

Love Meat

BY JAMES BEMBRIDGE ‘The world is waking up to an environmental crisis’, a disembodied voice warns with the kind of damming cynicism that only a guttural Scottish accent can truly deliver. The viewer is then assaulted with flashes of bush-fires spliced with frenzied jerky-cam closeups of caged swines. In case this bombardment of the senses has left us in any doubt as to the utter … Continue reading Love Meat