The Dwindling Sect of Rejoin

BY EFFIE DEANS I was sleeping when we left the EU. It is a matter of complete indifference to me if a fifty pence coin turns up in my change marking the event. If something about being European trends on Twitter I feel slightly amused that some people might think that such things matter. Symbolism doesn’t matter. Reality matters. It’s already clear that nothing bad … Continue reading The Dwindling Sect of Rejoin

Blessing in Disguise

BY ALEXIA JAMES Jo Swinson is annoying. Her squawking is annoying. Her hardline remainiac position is annoying. Her chatting with the EU behind the back of the British Government is beyond annoying. However, it’s pretty clear already, only months into her leadership of the Liberal Democrats, that – for Brexiteers at least – she’s a blessing in disguise. Rather than splitting the Tory vote at … Continue reading Blessing in Disguise

Wooferendum

BY CHARLES SULLIVAN There are certain moments in political campaigns when you know the side not seeking publicity has developed unstoppable and winning momentum. In the post-vote People’s Vote campaign, one such moment was the arrival of EU Supergirl, Madeleina Kay – she personified the whining, out-of-tune position of Continuity Remainers and helped turn Remainers away from the Continuity remain cause. Another was the rise … Continue reading Wooferendum

2024

BY MYSTIC PEG I had a vision last night. I have not had such a clear vision about British politics since my dream about the shell-suited devil. Often my visions come to me in metaphors or riddles but last night’s vision was different in that it came to me in tweets from 2024. Such specificity is rare. I awoke from my vision happy that Britain’s … Continue reading 2024

Let’s Not be Unchristian

BY ALEXIA JAMES Wannabe scally Terry Christian is one of those people who you avoid in the street let alone the studio. He’s the sort of a fellow who may not have halitosis but has it by default, as his exaggerated jiggling Mancunian contortions, annoying accent and verbal diarrhoea trump the worst sausage breath at a Mettwurst convention. His appearance recently on Jeremy Vine’s show … Continue reading Let’s Not be Unchristian

UK United in Distrust of May

CSM EDITORIAL Like anxiety, distrust is often not based on concrete and clear information, but rather on a hunch or gut feeling. Most people have learned to interpret certain signals as possible evidence that something may be wrong about a situation (leading to anxiety) or about a person (leading to distrust). And it is fair to say that the nation now wholly distrusts Theresa May. Whether you’re a … Continue reading UK United in Distrust of May

Remoan Added to Oxford Dictionary

CSM EDITORIAL More than 650 new words, senses, and sub-entries have been added to the Oxford English Dictionary in its latest update, including puggle, Latin@, and peoplekind. One of the new entries is the verb to “remoan” (although Remoaner has not as yet been included due to ongoing doubts over number authenticity). The definition of to REMOAN is as follows: VERB [NO OBJECT] 1  Continue to moan, especially after other similar … Continue reading Remoan Added to Oxford Dictionary

The Final Countdown

CSM EDITORIAL And so in the final week (or is it 19 days?) there were five choices: Vote for Mrs May’s Deal – Highly Unlikely. Revoke Article 50 – Civil War. A last-minute longer extension offered by the EU before the 29th March/12th April with conditions (likely financial and attached to either a second referendum or some other significant game-changer like a General Election to … Continue reading The Final Countdown