Take It

CSM EDITORIAL Boris’ deal is not perfect. It’s way better than Theresa May’s deal and it will get us out of the EU by the end of the month – less than two weeks’ away. More than that, it will end the domestic Brexit battle, which has been a grinding affair of Brit on Brit for more than three years. There may be some disappointed … Continue reading Take It

No Deal No EU Army

BY JAMIE FOSTER Should the unlikely happen and a deal materialise, a group of Tory MPs are considering voting against Boris Johnson’s divorce deal unless commitments to EU defence are removed from it. At present the divorce deal promises to keep the UK linked to a series of EU military structures including the European Defence Fund, the European Defence Agency and Permanent Structured Cooperation. This … Continue reading No Deal No EU Army

Slagfest

BY JON ALEXANDER Well, Wednesday night was a total shambles, wasn’t it? Just a lot of MPs pretending they were on EastEnders and having a slanging match with Kat Slater. We were told that prorogation of Parliament was unlawful and stopped our best and brightest MPs from debating Brexit and steering us onto a path that would unite both Leavers and Remainers whilst pleasing the … Continue reading Slagfest

Expect a Boris Bounce

CSM EDITORIAL The Labour Conference was weak fare. A party split by Brexit, feuds between Trotskyites and Blairites and a leader who has been reduced to changing his spectacles every couple of weeks just in case they give him a new look which some might mistake as Prime Ministerial. Every now and again the electable facade slipped – nationalising cutting-edge drug companies (pharmaceuticals are one … Continue reading Expect a Boris Bounce

Countryside Wary of Carrie

BY MELISSA KITE The girl in the eco-dress is making me nervous. Ever since Carrie Symonds, the girlfriend of Boris Johnson, went to a bird-watching festival wearing a dress rumoured to be made of something that doesn’t destroy the planet, unlike the clothes worn by you and me, I have been fretting. The highly disingenuous speech she made at this festival, about puffin hunting, which … Continue reading Countryside Wary of Carrie

CC2019

BY BEN EVERITT Tonic water is being stockpiled in Deansgate. Gin, too. And beer, for that matter. The M6 is braced for the rumble of Discoveries as the Tory herd makes its biennial migration to the watering holes of Manchester. Always eventful, the Manchester conference is a bear pit for Tory activists. MPs, staffers, stalwarts and all, must each enter the grand security of the … Continue reading CC2019

Momentum Training

BY THE EDITOR The Arriva Cross Country train service down from Aberdeen to Plymouth is a strain in second class. The legroom is limited, there’s not a lot of space for luggage and, if you end up in an aisle seat, expect to be bashed by those walking down the carriage unless you’re unhealthily skinny. Beware the travellers with verbal diarrhoea from Kirkcaldy who are on … Continue reading Momentum Training

Varadkar Playing With Fire

BY SEAN FLYNN The Irish Taoiseach Leo Varadkar recently admitted that “we (Irish) should be afraid” of a no deal Brexit taking place. Meanwhile Irish businesses, like the alcohol industry, have warned that a no-deal Brexit could see Irish jobs at risk, businesses shut down and expensive ­tariffs tacked on to drinks. A report from the Central Bank of Ireland (ICB) has also predicted that a no-deal … Continue reading Varadkar Playing With Fire

Plot or Die

BY JAMIE FOSTER The expression “falling between two stools” is an old proverbial phrase. The full version is ‘between two stools one falls to the ground’. It is first cited in John Gower’s Confessio Amantis, 1390: “Thou farst [farest] as he betwen tuo stoles That wolde sitte and goth to grounde.” The first recorded use in modern English is in Matthew Prior’s comic poem Alma; or, The … Continue reading Plot or Die

Send for Tice

BY ROBERT FOX Boris Johnson’s opening days at Number 10 have seen encouraging steps in the party’s recovery from Theresa May’s disastrous leadership. The appointment of Brexiteers to key Cabinet positions is finally allowing true believers to deliver Brexit, whilst the installation of the Thatcherite Sajid Javid to the Treasury will also be popular amongst traditional Tory voters. Other measures, such as a serious willingness … Continue reading Send for Tice